


The Ladyblog Comment Section

by DragonsandInk



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrinette, Alya's not amused, Chat doesn't know what a shift key is, Chat's name is MrWhiskers, Everyone else is, F/M, Fluff, Forgot I put a no reveal tag on here, Hilarity Ensues, Humor, I was told in high school I could never be a comedy writer, Just gonna fix that real quick, LB is Bugaboo, LB uses too many !'s, Showed them, Slice of Life, They find the Ladyblog comment section, They have no filter once they get going, all fluff, but spells out words like obscurity in normal comments, ladychat - Freeform, she's a spam commenter, tag abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-10
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2018-08-21 18:21:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 27,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8255729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonsandInk/pseuds/DragonsandInk
Summary: Alya, bless her fangirl heart, doesn't always get everything right.  It's the job of the two superheroes she adores to set her informational blog straight and keep a little entertainment going in the comment section.  The real issue here is that they don't know how to hold back.





	1. We'll be Counting Spots

“Have you ever counted my spots before?”

The question was surprising.  Before the sudden question they had _literally_ been remarking on the weather.  They were like old men chatting with one another and feeding the pigeons.  The afternoon had been spent with their legs hanging over the roof of a building near _Sacre Ceour_ , basking in the sunlight more than watching for trouble.

They did that sometimes, when they both happened to be out, noticed one another, and didn’t have anything else to do.  Ladybug would say that she had been patrolling for danger.  He would admit that sometimes he just liked to run around with limitless stamina.  She would look at him like she agreed but would not admit it out loud and they would enjoy that moment together without any further prodding.

This was one of those days.  The kind of day in the life of a superhero that was not action-packed or exciting but that reminded them that even between attacks life went on.  That the reason that they fought was for moments of peace like this.

She had said it rather casually, eyes trained lazily on the clouds and leaning back on her hands, so he tried not to assume anything.  He gave her a mock surprised expression and placed an offended hand on his chest.  “Why, I would _never_ count a lady’s spots without permission!  What kind of kitty do you take me for?”

She laughed.  Sometimes he got her to do that.  Other times she would scoff and roll her eyes.  Rarely, she would do both.  He couldn’t decide which was his favorite.

She hopped up and stepped back onto the roof so she had more room to move.  He twisted to look at her, propping his leg up and resting his arm across it.  “Will you help me?” she asked, “I can’t keep track of them all by myself.  I always manage to get turned around if I try to count them in the mirror.”

He joined her on his feet, interest gleaming in his electric green eyes.  “May I ask what brought on this curiosity?”

She hummed, thinking about how to word this in a way so that he wouldn’t be suspicious.  “Have you heard of the Ladyblog before?”

He tried not to answer too quickly.  “Yeah, the girl who runs it does some pretty in depth research.”  He left off the fact that he had a tab dedicated to it on his computer.  For Alya’s sake, of course.  Not because he was obsessive.  _Psh-ah_.

Ladybug went on, “Recently, she wrote a blub about how many spots I have.”

“And you want to see if she’s right?”

“Well, I just never thought about it before, and now that I have I feel like I should know.”

Chat swooped his arm in a bow.  “I would be glad to be of assistance, m’lady.”

She smirked at him and flicked one of his ears.  “Just help me keep track of which ones I’ve already counted, got it?”

He swatted her hand away with a grin.  “As you wish.”

\--

It took them only a few minutes to decide she had 108 spots.  Then a minute more of arguing whether her collar and the ones on her mask should count.  Then Chat had the brilliant idea that she might have some on the bottom of her feet.  She didn’t, but the expression he’d made when the idea came to him was priceless.

Returning to the edge of the roof, they then looked up how many Alya had claimed she’d counted and shared a conspiratory gasp when it was wrong.  Which then prompted them to re-count to make sure they were indeed correct.

“How many articles does she have?!” Chat exclaimed, scrolling down the page on Ladybug’s yo-yo for her.  He was leaning over her to peer closely at the tiny screen but she wasn’t bothered by the playful proximity and allowed him to mess with it.

“I think it actually says somewhere.  You probably don’t have to count each one yourself.”

“It’s faster this way.”

“Pretty sure it’s not.”

“I don’t want to scroll to the top again and look for it.”

“It’s so much easier, just go back up.”

“No, look how far I am already!”

“You’re not even a third of the way, just go back up.”

“I – am – right – now!”

“You’re ridiculous!”

“Nope, just a crazy speed reader!”

She laughed and he smirked but kept scrolling.  When he was about halfway and it was starting to get boring, the compact suddenly snapped closed and whipped back into Ladybug’s hand.  She grinned and laughed at his whining, having too much of a good time to be bothered by how he leaned against her with his chin on her shoulder and complained about how mean she was.

“Serves you right for not using your own!”

“Yours is cuter!”

She channeled her inner Chloe.  “It _is_ isn’t it?”  She was pleased to hear him laugh at that.

Ladybug would have liked to stay like that a little longer.  Maybe opening the Ladyblog again and disproving a few of her best friend’s other theories with the only person she could casually share them with or maybe even going back to talking about the weather but she had homework to do and a family that could question where she’d gone at any moment.  Glancing over at Chat, who had ended up laying on his back staring up at the clouds without a care in the world, she wondered faintly if he had the same waiting for him.

“Well this has been fun, but I need to get going soon,” she said without moving from her spot.

He pouted at the sky, as if she had said it would start raining in another ten minutes and he couldn’t keep lying there all day.  “Why do superheroes still need to do homework?  Doesn’t that seem unfair?”

She smiled.  She had been thinking the same thing, but when he voiced it like that she couldn’t help but feel it was more like a funny circumstance rather than a complete chore to do.  “Unfortunately.  Ladybugs gotta fly, cats gotta purr, and students need to do homework.”

“Well this kitty would rather stay curled up here to take a cat nap.”  He stretched exaggeratedly and then tucked his arms and legs in as if he were going to do just that.

Ladybug rolled her eyes then started poking him incessantly.  “No cats allowed on this rooftop!  You’re lucky you could stay this long!”

He batted her away playfully.  “Cats go where they want!  Your rules mean nothing!”

They knew they were only delaying their separation.  Even with things to do and places to be, they managed to put responsibilities off for ten more minutes to race to _L'Arc D’Triumphe_ before waving goodbye.

\--

When Adrien got home from karate with a full bag of homework he hadn’t even started yet but a smile still remaining from earlier that day he decided to put off school work for a little while longer.  As Plagg flew out of his jacket to finish the nap that he had started in his gym locker, Adrien threw himself into his computer chair, sending it spinning across the room.  Hitting the wall, he kicked back and caught himself on his desk in front of his computer, grinning all the way.

It had been a good day.  Spending time with Ladybug always put him in a good mood.  An akuma could show up and he’d still be grinning just as wide.

Logging into the Ladyblog, he couldn’t resist looking to see if there _was_ a number that said how many blog posts there were.  Of course, to the right side of the page, under several headers and file tabs, there was the number 82.  And each one of those posts was long, filled with multiple theories, and rife with comments from her readers.

He went to the most recent one, finding that the title wasn’t “How many spots does Ladybug have?” like he’d thought, but rather “The Mystery of the Costume.”  She actually had quite a few theories about their costumes, anywhere from what kind of material it was made out of to whether they chose their costumes or were given them.  A few of the points were actually questions he hadn’t thought much about that had sparked his own curiosity.

Scrolling down to the comments, he noticed quite a few people discussing different parts of the post, almost all of them having a certain _LadybugQueen_ he knew to be Alya taking some part in them as well.  He saw a few deleted comments too and wondered what someone had to have said that was bad enough to make Alya do that.

Then his smile spread and he pulled his keyboard over.

\--

Homework that night had taken longer than Marinette expected.  It was a good thing she had insisted on leaving the rooftop with Chat when she did because otherwise there was no way she would have had time to finish it all, help her mother with dinner, and have enough rest for the next day.

Tired after the work she’d done, she laid in her bed with her phone, scrolling through notifications and text messages it was too late to respond to.  Alya had sent a few messages about whether she should focus her next blog post on personality typing the superheroes or discussing the reason why their features were so hard to pick out.

Smiling, she went to the blog to read what kind of responses her earlier comment as _StitchPrincess022_ had gotten.  It was just a few vague comments of agreement to Alya’s post to let her know that yes she had read everything Alya, and yes she was the first person to comment because she was the first person to know it was up.

Scrolling down, her eyes glazed over the other comments, curious what other people thought, until one caught her attention.  It was pretty high up on popularity, but had almost more dislikes than likes.  A single sentence, but one that made her sit up in her bed because there’s no way it could be anyone else.

 _MrWhiskers13_ : _theres actually 108 spots Σ;)_

She stifled a laugh so as not to wake Tikki, who was already asleep, but was immediately reaching for her tablet and making a new comment account on the Ladyblog with a new name.  Alya already knew that she was _StitchPrincess_ so she couldn’t answer under the pseudonym without the possibility of some raised eyebrows from her best friend.  She’d just have to come up with a new one.

Obviously Ladybug was already taken, but that would have been too obvious anyways.  _MrWhiskers_ was just the sort of lame name that she would expect from her partner, but not one that someone who didn’t know him personally would expect.  It needed to be subtle, but something that he would recognize instantly.

Smiling as an idea came to her, she typed it in, immediately commented, and subscribed to _MrWhiskers13_.  She didn’t know whether to expect a comment back from him or not, but was happy with what she had done for the night.  Turning off and plugging in her gadgets, she rolled over in her bed and fell asleep with a smile.

\--

Adrien really shouldn’t have put off doing his homework for so long.  By the time it was done, he was practically falling asleep on his notebook.  Still, he didn’t want to go to bed before seeing how many likes his earlier comment had gotten on the blog.

Seeing the discrepancy between the like and dislike buttons he let out a soft laugh.  He felt more proud of Alya’s stalwart followers defending against his disagreement than anything, even if they were wrong.  Most comments were the same, asking where he got his proof from and how would he know better than the expert on all things Ladybug.  But there was one at the bottom different from all the rest.

His eyes widened as all fatigue left him in an instant.  The comment itself could have been attributed to the cat-eared smiley he had added with his own comment, but there was no mistaking that username.  His smile grew as he read it a second and a third time.

_Bugaboo121: Silly kitty Φ_


	2. Les--Not So--Miserables

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alya's rambling about the issue she's having with her comment section but Marinette is distracted.

“Have you read my new post yet?” Alya asked as she walked into the room, a proud swish to her hips as she walked.  A chorus of " _yes"_ was echoed through the classroom in tones of excitement, defeat, and everything in between.  The question had not been for the class as a whole but for her best friend who was giggling at the half grimace half smirk Alya now had.

When Alya was done pouting and they’d settled in their seats with their bags at their feet, Marinette continued their conversation.  “Yes, I have.  It’s interesting that you think Chat Noir can control his ears and tail, but you gave some good evidence in your post.”

She waved her hands almost frantically, a hyperactive habit she’d picked up from Marinette.  “But have you read the comments?!”

Marinette barely controlled the twitch of her lips that might have given her away while putting on a look of innocence.  “No?  I had homework last night, so I read your post and worked on that.  Are they good comments?”

“Good!?  It’s horrible!  There are these two commenters that keep clogging up the entire section!  They _start_ talking about my post and will stay on track for maybe _ten comments_ then suddenly they start talking about really random things or saying stuff about Ladybug and Chat Noir that I’ve never heard of!  Me!  Not having heard of _any_ of this!  Did you know they do night patrols sometimes?”

It was hard to fully listen to her best friend ramble and make the appropriate noises or expressions.  Not because she wasn’t interested in what she was saying—she was _very_ interested in Alya’s woes about these _strange_ commenters—but something was wrong with Adrien.  Something was wrong and when there was something wrong with her future husband she needed to find a way to fix it for him.

He had seemed fine when they walked in, chorusing with the rest of the class about Alya’s post and taking some kind of notes despite there being no teacher in the room and no class going on.  But as Alya spoke, he had slowly sunk farther over his desk until his forehead was on the table and his hands were covering his head.  She might have thought that he was just tired (he’d had basketball _and_ fencing yesterday on top of homework, he was probably just tired) until she noticed his shoulders shaking.

Was he crying?  Was he okay?  What could have made him so upset that he would lose it like this in class?  She worried about him but knew she wouldn’t be able to say anything comforting to him and didn’t want to make a scene where he might be embarrassed for any reason.

“No, I had no idea they did that,” she said as she wadded up a piece of paper, “Are there pictures for evidence?”  Her voice was a little unenthusiastic, but Alya had worked herself up into a tizzy and didn’t notice.

“No!  There’s no evidence at all!  And yet all the _other_ commenters are just taking everything they say at face value!”

“All of them?” Marinette asked, sticking her tongue out of her mouth as she aimed the paper ammunition.

“Well, no, not all of them.  That’s actually why their comment string is so long is because half of everybody agrees with them and half of them blow up at them in my favor.  Which, I mean, is awesome, I love that so many of my readers are coming to my rescue so quickly.  But still!  Should I block them from commenting?  Maybe I should open a forum?  This isn’t the first time I’ve seen them comment and get wild results.  They commented on the spots thing too.”

“And how did that go?”  The paper struck home.  Nino, who’d had his headphones on and his eyes closed as he chilled before class started, jumped and spun around to look for whoever had assaulted him.  “No wait, you told me before, right?  It wasn’t as bad as this.  Do you think it’s going to escalate?”  Even as she spoke she sent a half-glare at her classmate, pointing to him roughly and then jabbing her finger towards the distressed Adrien to get his attention.

Nino looked from her to his friend blankly for a moment.  She pointed from her eyes to his then back to Adrien again.  He looked confused, making a wild shrugging gesture with his arms, but when she didn’t relent he rolled his eyes and pulled his phones down.

All the while, Alya had continued talking about her own issue.

“Maybe?  I don’t know if it _can_ escalate.  I think their comment thread has more comments on it then there are separate comments.  I mean, it’s not _totally_ an issue.  They bring up some good points and so do the other commenters and I don’t want to just stifle my follower’s creativity and right to their own opinions, but I kind of just want it a little more controlled?  The comment section is longer than my actual post!  Which is also _great._  I love that I was able to spur a discussion like that but I don’t know.  Maybe I should just leave it be?  It’s not like they’re doing any real harm, just being annoying.”

“Maybe you could make a separate page for comments?  Or make a forum, like you said?”  Marinette’s eyes were on the boys as she spoke.  Nino was now poking Adrien, who had slapped away his hands at first and was now tilting his head halfway up to talk to his friend.

“Yeah, maybe?  But I don’t want to make all my commenters need to go to a different page to say something about the article, you know?  Having it at the bottom is convenient for lazy people.”

“I’ll say.”

“Wanna know the worst part?”

“Hmm?”  Her focus was glued to Adrien, who had sat back up and was placating his friend weakly.  Maybe she should ask if he needed to go home?  She didn’t want him to suffer like it looked like he was.

“Their names are _Mr. Whiskers_ and _Bugaboo_ and I swear throughout all of this they’re _flirting_.”

There was _snort_ - _crack_ combination that came from an undignified laugh and the smack of a forehead against the table as Adrien completely lost it.  This was followed by uncontrolled laughter that left Marinette frazzled and confused as Nino face-palmed and Alya stood up so fast it was if she’d never been sitting down.

“You think this is funny, pretty boy?!”  She wasn’t entirely angry so much as frustrated.  His laughter wasn’t mean-spirited, but just completely delighted in the way that made people around him snicker as well, even if they didn’t know what he was laughing at.

He was shaking his head, sending blond locks everywhere while he wasn’t capable of forming a coherent sentence.

“You think my out of control comment thread is something to laugh at?”  Alya was still speaking loudly, but it was more playful than anything.  She had leaned so far over her desk that she was crossing into Nino’s personal space and made Marinette worry she was going to fall over the other side of the table.

Marinette had covered her mouth, because Adrien’s laughter was contagious but if she started laughing too then Alya’s wrath would double.

He was shaking his head at first but then started nodding.  “S-Sorry, I read the c-comment thread last night too and thought that w-was really funny!”

“What!  What’s your username mister!  Are you in on this?!”

He laughed even harder at the accusation, joined in by Marinette and Nino’s as well.  Knowing that the culprit was in fact Chat Noir made it even funnier that Alya thought it was Adrien who was doing this.

The blogger’s finger moved between all three of them.  “All of you!  You’re all the instigators of this, aren’t you!  Don’t deny it!”

Their two desks were filled almost with hysterics by now, no one able to form a coherent sentence but Alya, who was losing it even as she continued throwing playful accusations and insults at them.  The rest of the room looked on with their own snickers because even if they weren’t part of the full conversation they were all aware of the comment section trouble due to Alya’s loud rambling.

Miss Mandeliev walked into the room to find the four students throwing paper balls at each other, calling Adrien _Whisker Face_ , and Alya _Ladybug Queen_.

Alya was never able to get Marinette to help her come to a real conclusion of what to do about the comment section but eventually made an option to hide the comment section and encouraged moving long conversations to a forum page she made up.  It seemed like such a serious issue though that she decided to make a post about the new changes so no one would be caught out of the loop or confused about what was going on.  She was trying to be a responsible blogger who cared for her readers.

In hindsight, she really should have known what would come next.

_(Post: About the Comment Section – Comments - 14:46)_

_MrWhiskers13: shes trying 2 run us out!  shes strangling our creative minds! >:O_

_Bugaboo121: Expelling us from our right to discuss!?!_

_MrWhiskers13: impeaching our opinions! Σ: &_

_Bugaboo121: Barricading our march of connectivity!!!!_

_MrWhiskers13: can u hear the people sing/ singing the song of angry commenters/ it is the music of the bloggers who will not be blocked again! <:3_

_LadybugQueen: Omg, you two need to stop_

_Bugaboo121: Rise!  Oh commenters who are oppressed!_

_Bugaboo121:  Fight for our right to post!!!!_

_MrWhiskers13: -gathers pitchforks+ torches- we have the supplies!! >:3_

_Bugaboo121: REBELLION!!!! >:D_

_(MrWhiskers13, Bugaboo have been blocked from this comment thread by editor LadybugQueen)_

_Anonymous82: You think you can get rid of us?!!!?_

_Anonymous906: jean we must rise against javert! >:O_

_Anonymous82: Cute but I’m Enjolras_

_Anonymous906: who am I then? Σ:?_

_Anonymous82: You can be Gavroche_

_Anonymous906: doesnt he die_

_Anonymous82: They all die_

_LadybugQueen: Maybe it’s a sign_

_Anonymous82:   :/_

_Anonymous906:   :/_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kind of want to make these chapters in a half and half sort of way, kind of like the show. Excluding the first chapter since it was mostly set-up, usually the format will be that the first half will either be irl conversations between Chat and LB or between Mari, Adrien, and the class. The second half will be Alya's poor, abused blog XD


	3. Your Turn

Marinette skittered into the classroom, breathing hard and clutching a pink box hard enough to crumple the cardboard.  She enjoyed running around the rooftops while Paris earned its title of _The City of Lights_ but getting up the next morning often included the wonderfully awful snooze button she was sure would be her downfall before Hawkmoth ever was.  Hoping to be forgiven for her tardiness, she’d grabbed a box of pastries off the bakery shelf as a peace offering before scrambling out the door.

As Marinette swung her head around looking for an absent teacher, Alya looked up from her phone and gave her best friend a lazy wave.  “Teacher’s meeting.  Something about upperclassmen being annoying during lunch.  Full disclosure later.”

Adrien turned in his seat to see who had come in and gave a small wave.  “Morning Marinette.”

Her eyes went a bit wider than usual.  “Morning-Good—I mean, I, uh, my morning _is_ good, uh, _was_ good, t-thanks.”

Her face had gone bright pink with embarrassment so Adrien decided to spare her and pretend she hadn’t stuttered.  “Good to hear!”

She sputtered but managed to nod and make it to her seat without tripping up the stairs.  Alya poked the box as she set it down.  “And what are these?”

“Oh, uh, just some éclairs, I think.  I kinda just grabbed the box on my way out the door.”  She was talking to Alya, but looking at Adrien who was still turned around in his chair in order to talk to them.  At the mention of the pastries, it was impossible not to notice how his eyes completely lit up.  “Y-You guys can have some if you like.”

“Aw, sweet, thanks Marinette!” Nino said first, opening the box first and helping himself.

Alya picked one out next but as Adrien reached for the box he paused.  For a moment, Marinette was afraid that he didn’t think they looked good.  Then he smiled that stupid, beautiful smile of his and had the audacity to look sheepish.  “You know,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck, “They all look _really_ good.  Which would you recommend?”

Marinette’s gut reflex was to push the entire box towards him and scream something like “TAKE THEM ALL”.  Instead, she was frozen solid for a moment until Alya elbowed her a few times while waggling her eyebrows.  Snapping out of her stupor, she nearly threw the entire box in her hurry to answer his question.  “I—here—they—this—CHOCOLATE!”

Adrien didn’t comment on the disjointed screech that Marinette had let out and instead took the pastry while his eyes practically sparkled with excitement.  Looking at the beautiful designs on the éclair that had practically been shoved at him, he couldn’t help but wonder if the blue-haired girl had done the frosting.  It certainly looked like something she might sketch in the corners of her notebook.  Swooping, long, and stylish.  It was almost a shame to bite into it.

But Adrien was not one to let a perfectly good confection go to waste.

As they munched on the snacks and complimented Marinette and her family’s bakery, they inevitably began chatting again.  But Alya had been on a single track for the past week or so and there was no escaping from where she was steering the conversation.

“So back to my blog,” she began, accompanied by a loud groan from Nino.  “It’s not about you-know-who this time!” she said in defense.

Adrien, done with the chocolate éclair and already started on a citrus one with Marinette’s permission, nearly choked on the pastry as he held down a snort of laughter.  He gave her a sarcastic look.  “Are they a curse now?”  Marinette had to cover her mouth to keep from snickering loudly.

“It’s just bad luck.  I don’t know how, but Bugaboo seems to know the _instant_ I post something no matter what time of day I post it!  I swear, I’ve gotten ‘First!’ comments on the past seven or eight posts!  I’ve even told Marinette right before I posted it so that she could be the first comment instead and Bugaboo _still_ manages to get ahead somehow!”

Marinette was biting her lip and still not managing to completely hide her grin.  She coughed and tried to play it off.  “Maybe she has some kind of alert?”

Nino laughed.  “Or maybe she just stalks your blog day and night.”

“From the looks of it, that might just be it,” Alya said with a scowl.

“Wait, what’s your screen names?” Adrien asked.

Alya puffed out her chest proudly.  “ _LadybugQueen_ , since I _am_ the writer and editor of the Ladyblog.”

Marinette blushed.  “ _StitchPrincess_ , because, well, ah, you know, I like to sew and stuff.”

There was that stupid smile again that made her heart thump loudly in her chest.  “ _StitchPrincess_?  That’s such a cute name!  It really suits you!”

…

Did he just call her cute?

As Marinette’s brain shut down and Nino nudged Adrien with a wink, Alya tried to steer the talk away from topics that would make her best friend’s heart explode.

“So what are your screen names?” she asked, trying to act casual while kicking her friend under the table to check if she was still alive.  When Marinette finally kicked back, she knew the lovesick girl was okay.

Nino and Adrien glanced at each other, both looking guilty.  “Sorry, Alya, haven’t gotten around to it yet,” Nino tried to placate.

“What!  You too Adrien?!”

Adrien thought about his account as _MrWhiskers_ and quickly decided it was better to lie.  “Uh, yeah, sorry.  I read all your posts, but I don’t comment so I don’t have an account.”  Better to say no and let her believe that than say yes and make something up off the top of his head. 

Alya sat back and leveled a cool stare at the both of them.  “So you’re part of the invisibles.”

He laughed at the term as Nino rolled his eyes with a smile.  Nino adjusted his headphones as he said, “It’s not like your page views are any different, right?”

Slapping her hand on the desktop between them, she put on her best pouty face.  “That’s not the point!  You guys are my friends and I’d appreciate it if you tried to take interest in what I’m passionate about!”

Alya had to work hard to keep a smirk from forming when Adrien’s face fell.  Guilty shadows filled his eyes and for a moment she felt her own guilt for making such a pure-hearted kid fall for something like that before remembering how he’d been laughing about her blogging woes recently.  It wasn’t exactly punishment since he didn’t even know she had been holding a grudge, but she felt like this equaled it out.

Nino’s eyes leapt from one friend to the other and rolled.  There was no fooling Nino with a cute face and a sob story.  She had to hand that to him at least; it was hard to get things past him despite how he usually seemed to be in his own world.

He nudged his friend with his elbow.  “Don’t let her play you, dude, if you don’t want to make the commitment you _know_ keeping up with her blog will become then don’t let her bully you into it.”

“I’m not bullying him!” she snapped at him before turning doe-eyes back to the blond.  “Please?  I’ll even pick a screen name for you and just set it to auto so you don’t even have to think about it!  It’s just if you ever decide to comment it will be there waiting for you.  _Please?”_

“Alya,” Marinette hissed, tugging her sleeve and looking nervously between the three of them.  Her best friend waved her off, never breaking eye-contact with her victim.

Any motivation Adrien had to keep teasing her seemed to dwindle with horrifying speed. 

Deep down, he knew Alya was just messing with him.  But he couldn’t deny that he was her friend and that he should be more supportive of her.  And if all he had to do was make an account on her blog to show that then why _wouldn’t_ he?

His phone was barely halfway out of his pocket before it was snatched from his hand.  Alya had that smile on again that reminded him faintly of a shark.  “Thanks!  Don’t worry, I’ll pick a _good_ screen name for you!”

Under normal circumstances, Adrien would have laughed nervously at the way she said _good_ but allowed her to do as she wanted because she just seemed so excited about this.  Under normal circumstances, he might have casually started to ask her what kind of screen name she was thinking of.

But as it was, Adrien was flying into all out panic mode.  Because Alya was already typing in the URL for the Ladyblog and he most _definitely_ had not logged out as _MrWhiskers_.  If she saw that, there would be no turning back.  There would be no claims that Adrien was just looking at the infamous commenter’s history, or that he had made a duplicate account because it would be funny.

At this point, he was less worried about Alya figuring out that he was Chat and more terrified of what she would do to him if she found out he was the one giving her headaches for spamming her blog.

So like some kind of wild and ungraceful animal, he dropped the remaining éclair in his hand, hurtled himself over his chair, and fell over the girls’ table as he frantically grabbed for the phone.  Marinette let out an equally inelegant squawking noise as she jumped back from his sudden body throw while Alya scooted back and held his phone away.

“Hahaha, are you afraid of the name I’ll give you?  Don’t worry, I’ll make it mostly painless,” she said with that scary grin of hers.

Adrien’s brain raced for a viable reason for him to get his phone back in his hands.  “You can’t use it!  Not yet!  I-it’s on desktop mode!”

Alya was sending him confused looks and threatening him with a karate chop, which allowed Nino to say the “what” for her.

“It’s on desktop mode!  My browser is on desktop mode and it needs to be on mobile mode because it’s a cellphone and using desktop on a mobile is absolute _sacrilege_!”

As Alya was clutching her stomach with laughter, Adrien snatched his phone back and wheeled away from her, trotting around his desk and out of reach so there was no danger of her getting it back.  The page had loaded and sure enough _MrWhiskers13_ was proudly displayed in the top right corner of the page.  He was already logging out by the time Alya was able to make a coherent sentence.

“If desktop mode on a mobile is so horrible, then why did you have it like that in the first place?”

Adrien looked up from his screen with a deadly serious face, honed to perfection in the years he had been a model.  “The rebel life chose me, Alya, I don’t want to drag you into it.”

As Alya laughed so hard she was wheezing and Nino tried to make sure she kept breathing, Adrien sat back down as if nothing was wrong and handed his phone to Marinette.  He wasn’t certain why, after he had done it.  Maybe because Alya was busy trying not to die of laughter and couldn’t concentrate on picking a screen name for him at the moment?  Because Marinette was as close to next-of-kin that he could get in their classroom?

In any case, after he had done it her eyes widened as if he had just told her that he was Chat Noir rather than just handed a cell phone over.  She held it gingerly, as if she’d break the screen if she so much as breathed on it, and flicked her eyes between him and the phone.  He wasn’t really sure what to tell her, so he just shot her a half-grin and an apologetic shrug.

Before she could say anything, the phone was snatched from her tentative hold by her best friend.  “Alright pretty boy, I was going to give you a halfway normal sounding name before, but now you owe me for nearly making me choke on air just then.  No bars held, I get to pick whatever I want.”

Adrien had thought that was what was happening anyway, but was not prepared for what exactly she had in store for him.

With his phone finally in her hands, the blogger scooted over to her best friend, already typing something in.  “We have to give you a name that lets people know that it’s you, so we should play off of something that people would recognize you as.  What do you think?  Sexybutt?  Cutebutt?  Hotbutt?  Buttbutt?  C’mon Marinette, help me out here.”

Marinette’s only response was muffled screaming behind her hands as she shook her head back and forth violently.

“Adrien’s name is going to have a butt in it, there’s no stopping this.  I know!  PrinceButt.  PrinceofButts!  ButtPrince.”

“Alya, please.  Alya, no,” Adrien was pleading.  Nino’s sympathetic shoulder patting was not helping the situation.

“You’re name’s going to be ButtPrince, Adrien.  The whole world will know you as ButtPrince from now on.  This is what happens when you use desktop mode on your cellphone,” she said, cackling evilly.

Adrien was about ready to succumb to his fate.  It was fine, because he would just make sure to be _extra_ annoying as _MrWhiskers_ for a while.  But before Alya could finalize anything, Marinette struck.

Like a snake that no one had expected to strike, she whipped forward, steely determination in her eyes.  Her nimble fingers snatched his phone out of Alya’s hands and began typing frantically.  The blogger, realizing what had happened, leapt forward to reclaim her prize, only to be held back with a well-placed foot as Marinette balanced on the edge of her chair.

Nino and Adrien had leaned backwards in fear of the girls as Alya swiped at Marinette and the aspiring designer focused on the small cellphone screen while also keeping her rabid friend at bay.  With a cute little “hah!” she gave a final jab at the screen.  Quickly, she tossed the phone to Adrien, who was in enough shock that he barely was able to catch it.

Immediately after she had tossed it, Marinette fell out of her chair, Alya managing to fall forward as well.  Without checking his phone, Adrien jumped to his feet to help Marinette back up.

She was already rubbing her head, but she still looked dazed, sitting halfway on the stairs with one foot still propped up by her chair.  He couldn’t help the worried expression he was giving her.  Had she hit her head?  He really wanted to check and make sure that it wasn’t serious or needed ice.  But he knew there were boundaries between classmates and that Marinette got nervous around him anyway.  He didn’t want to make her uncomfortable because he wanted to run his fingers through her hair.  She probably had really soft hair.

Wait, what was he thinking?  Mentally shaking himself, he offered Marinette a hand up and a reassuring smile.  Her eyes widened again and she gave an adorable little “eep!” sound, but after a moment took his hand.  He helped her back to her feet.  She was blushing and her eyes were pointed down at her feet.

“Are you okay?” he asked, still worried she might have a bump.  She nodded fast enough to give a person whiplash.  Before he could make any more certain that she didn’t need to go to the nurse’s office the teacher came in.

“Sorry that took so long everyone!  We can begin class now.  Could everyone take their seats?”

Adrien did so, glancing back at Marinette once more to make sure she was doing okay before facing forward.  He snatched his phone off the table and quickly hid it in his lap before the teacher could see it.  In his hurry to make sure Marinette was okay he hadn’t even checked what name she’d given him.

A smile grew on his face as he saw _PastryPrince_ in the top corner of the screen. 

Quickly, as Miss Bustier’s back was turned, he twisted in his seat to face the girls.  After making sure Marinette had noticed him, he gave her a smile and winked.  Her eyes widened once again but he had to turn back to the board before the teacher noticed he wasn’t paying attention.

Well, at least he wasn’t ButtPrince.

 

_(-Ladyblog forum-Discussion Thread: The Real Question Here…-Page 32-)_

_MrWhiskers13_ :

_O|___|X_

_X|_X_|O_

_O|_X_|O_

 _Bugaboo121_ :

_O|_O_|X_

_X|_X_|O_

_O|_X_|O_

 _MrWhiskers13_ : _again?! i thought u wouldnt notice!_

 _Bugaboo121_ : _There are only nine squares!_

 _Bugaboo121_ : _How do you expect me not to see that?!_

 _MrWhiskers13_ : _u can act superior 4 now but u havent even seen my final form!_

 _Bugaboo121_ : _Bring it on!!_

__|___|O_

__|___|__

__|___|__

 _MrWhiskers13_ : _watch out!_

__|___|O_

__|_X_|__

__|___|__

 _LadybugQueen_ : _What are you doing this time?_

 _MrWhiskers13_ : _ur majesty!  how good 2 see u bless this forum with ur presence!_

 _LadybugQueen_ : _The comment section was too quiet so I looked into it._

 _LadybugQueen_ : _What are you doing?_

 _Bugaboo121_ : _Playing tic-tac-toe ;P_

__|___|O_

__|_X_|__

_O|___|__

 _Bugaboo121_ : _It was the only game easy enough for Whiskers to play_

 _MrWhiskers13_ : _ill have you know im very good at checkers 2_

__|___|O_

__|_X_|X_

_O|___|__

 _Bugaboo121_ : _Playing with the horse pieces isn’t considered playing the game XD_

__|___|O_

_O|_X_|X_

_O|___|__

 _LadybugQueen_ : _That’s definitely chess._

_X|___|O_

_O|_X_|X_

_O|___|__

 _Bugaboo121_ : _Is it?_

 _Bugaboo121_ : _I always get them mixed up_

_X|___|O_

_O|_X_|X_

_O|___|O_

 _Bugaboo121_ : _Which means that Whiskers can only play the easier one XD_

 _MrWhiskers13_ : _chess is hard checkers is just fun!_

_X|___|O_

_O|_X_|X_

_O|_X_|O_

 _Bugaboo121_ : _Tie_

_X|_O_|O_

_O|_X_|X_

_O|_X_|O_

 _MrWhiskers13_ : _again!_

 _MrWhiskers13_ : _Σ;)_

__|___|__

__|_X_|__

__|___|__

 _LadybugQueen_ : _What even is the question?_

 _Bugaboo121_ : _Whether Whiskers can beat me at anything_

__|___|__

_O|_X_|__

__|___|__

 _MrWhiskers13_ : _the answer is 4/7 with twice as many ties_

__|___|X_

_O|_X_|__

__|___|__

 _LadybugQueen_ : _Well, thanks for doing it on the forum at least._

 _Bugaboo121_ : _I thought it would take over 100 times for him to beat me and the comment chains don’t run that long_

__|___|X_

_O|_X_|__

_O|___|__

 _MrWhiskers13_ : _wanna play winner ur majesty?_

_X|___|X_

_O|_X_|__

_O|___|__

 _Bugaboo121_ : _Now Whiskers don’t be rude.  Her majesty can play me whenever she wants_

_X|_O_|X_

_O|_X_|__

_O|___|__

 _MrWhiskers13_ : _ur over confidence is ur weakness_

 _Bugaboo121_ : _Your lack of friends is yours_

 _MrWhiskers13_ : _modern media turns against me yet again_

 _MrWhiskers13_ : _harsh_

 _MrWhiskers13_ : _but not as harsh as this_

_X|_O_|X_

_O|_X_|__

_O|___|X_

 _MrWhiskers13_ : _5/7 Σ;)_

 _Bugaboo121_ : _Gloat while you can_

_O|___|__

__|___|__

__|___|__

 _MrWhiskers13_ : _dont tempt me i might just tell everyone i know_

_O|___|__

__|___|__

__|_X_|__

 _Bugaboo121_ : _So the inevitable twenty cats you own?_

_O|___|__

__|___|__

__|_X_|O_

 _MrWhiskers13_ : _just the one_

_O|___|__

__|_X_|__

__|_X_|O_

 _Bugaboo121_ : _Poor Whiskers, can’t even get cats to love you_

_O|_O_|__

__|_X_|__

__|_X_|O_

 _MrWhiskers13_ : _ive still got u <3_

_O|_O_|X_

__|_X_|__

__|_X_|O_

 _Bugaboo121_ : _Yeah, yeah_

_O|_O_|X_

_O|_X_|__

__|_X_|O_

 _MrWhiskers13_ : _btw_

 _MrWhiskers13_ :

_O|_O_|X_

_O|_X_|__

_X|_X_|O_

 _MrWhiskers13_ : _6/7_

 _LadybugQueen_ : _Did you know people are taking bets on this?_

 _Bugaboo121_ : _What?!_

 _Bugaboo121_ : _No way!_

 _Bugaboo121_ : _Really???_

 _MrWhiskers13_ : _u better not b making this up because this would b the best day evr_

 _LadybugQueen_ : _-link-Ladyblog-discussion-page-Bugabets-_

 _MrWhiskers13_ : _Omg Σ:O_

 _Bugaboo121_ : _How even_

 _MrWhiskers13_ : _this is the best!! Σ:D_

 _Bugaboo121_ : _Are they trading bit coins?!_

 _LadybugQueen_ : _Pretty sure that’s a joke_

 _MrWhiskers13_ : _lets keep going im fired up_

 _Bugaboo121_ : _I don’t like this_

 _Bugaboo121_ : _The bet thing is weird_

 _MrWhiskers13_ : _Σ:(_

 _MrWhiskers13_ : _i dont want to stop just because other people r being weird_

 _Bugaboo121_ : _We’ll play some other time_

 _Bugaboo121_ : _I’ll bring a checker board :)_

 _MrWhiskers13:_ _Σ:(_

 _MrWhiskers13:_ _Σ:  (_

 _MrWhiskers13:_ _Σ:  )_

 _MrWhiskers13:_ _Σ:)_

 _MrWhiskers13_ _: im sold_

 _MrWhiskers13_ _: tictactoe was getting boring anyway_

 _LadybugQueen_ _: What if I make this interesting?_

 _Bugaboo121_ _: -Suspicion alarm dings-_

 _LadybugQueen_ _: Whoever gets to ten wins first gets to pick the topic of my next article_

 _MrWhiskers13_ _: wait like we get 2 choose whatever we want?!_

 _LadybugQueen_ _: Yup.  Whatever you want about Ladybug and Chat Noir and I’ll make it the topic of my next article_

 _MrWhiskers13_ _: sounds 2 good 2 b true_

 _Bugaboo121_ _: You’re not kidding us at all?  We get to choose whatever we want?_

 _LadybugQueen_ _: You have my word.  But if either of you forfeit the other automatically wins._

 _MrWhiskers13_ _: what do u say bugaboo? ^-w-^_

 _Bugaboo121_ _: …_

 _MrWhiskers13_ _: ^3^_

 _Bugaboo121_ _: I say there’s no way I’m giving up when I’m ahead by 1!!!!!_

__|___|O_

__|___|__

__|___|__

 _MrWhiskers13_ : _so it begins!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If the game gets confusing: Mari/LB is O and Chat/Adrien is X
> 
> Sorry for not updating last week! I've been getting ready for Halloween! I'm going as Ladybug and made most of my costume by hand so I've been pretty busy, haha.
> 
> In other news, my apartment literally has a ladybug infestation. It might be because the weather is getting colder, but I like to think it's a sign that I'm in the right fandom!
> 
> Also, thanks to Snark_Sniper for helping me come up with a screen name for Adrien. As I was trying to come up with a name that related to his interests like how "Stitch" relates to Marinette's we had the realization that we actually know very little about Adrien other than he likes sports and is a mix of sad model boy and happy cinnamon roll. Eventually she came up with "PastryPrince" and I like it because of alliteration!


	4. And the Winner is...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The struggle of trying to remember that LadybugQueen is not actually Ladybug can only be compared to trying to keep straight who likes who and who knows what in this fandom. It's convoluted and destined to fail from the beginning. Yet we keep trying anyway because we love these little macaroons.  
> I also put a chapter cap on this! I think it's going to end up being either 7 or 8 chapters. I put 8 up because I'm optimistic about ideas of where to take this.  
> Enough of my rambling though. Enjoy.

_(Post: Heroism vs Vigilantism: The Paris Police Department and Their Role in Supporting our Heroes – Comments - 9:27)_

_Bugaboo121: I am SHOCKED :OOOO_

_MrWhiskers13: its been a week_

_Bugaboo121: Not that you beat me <-<_

_LadybugQueen: To be fair, that was pretty shocking_

_Bugaboo121: But you actually asked for a reasonable topic idea!!!!_

_MrWhiskers13: wat do u mean by that? ^._.^_

_Bugaboo121: I mean you’re about halfway reliable on a good day -_-_

_MrWhiskers13: rude_

_LadybugQueen: To be honest though, I had a lot of fun writing this article_

_LadybugQueen: I got actual interviews from the police chief and the supervisor_

_LadybugQueen: And I’ve already gotten a bunch of PM’s from officers who read my blog thanking me for this_

_Bugaboo121: He didn’t plan this!_

_Bugaboo121: There’s NO WAY he planned this!!!_

_MrWhiskers13: i can be nice! i can do good things on purpose! Σ:(_

_Bugaboo121: I know I know –pats head- ^.^_

_Bugaboo121: Don’t be a grump you know I’m teasing you_

_MrWhiskers13: grump grump grump_

_LadybugQueen: I’m kind of loathe to admit this but however weird you guys are you seem to know your stuff_

_MrWhiskers13: is that a compliment?_

_Bugaboo121: I believe it is !! :O !!_

_MrWhiskers13: were finally breaking her! Σ >:)_

_LadybugQueen: Yeah, yeah, hahaha_

_LadybugQueen: But if you guys had any more ideas of what to do for articles, I would consider them_

_MrWhiskers13: o would u now? Σ:D_

_Bugaboo121: How Much Does Ladybug Lift? More Than You’d Think!_

_MrWhiskers13: top 10 best cat puns as told by Chat Noir_

_Bugaboo121: Paris Superheroes: Aliens or Mole People?_

_MrWhiskers13: 15 reasons y Ladybug should go on a date w/ Chat Noir_

_Bugaboo121: 50 Reasons Why She Would Say NO_

_LadybugQueen: I regret this immediately_

_MrWhiskers13: wat r u talkin bout? this is quality content were providing u_

_Bugaboo121: Leather and Other Fashion Faux Pas_

_MrWhiskers13: u did not just go there_

_Bugaboo121: :P_

_MrWhiskers13: throw out ur spots cause STRIPES r wats in!_

_Bugaboo121: HOW DARE YOU_

_Bugaboo121: SPOTS WILL ALWAYS BE IN_

_Bugaboo121: CATS VS DOGS MAN’S REAL BEST FRIEND_

_MrWhiskers13: putting on caps doesnt make u rite Σ;)_

_Bugaboo121: CHAT NOIR: SNEAKY SUPERHERO? THEN WHY THE BELL??????_

_MrWhiskers13: mayb cauSE IT COMPLETES THE LOOK_

_Bugaboo121: MAYBE BECAUSE IT MAKES HIM THE OPPOSITE OF STEALTHY_

_MrWhiskers13: Y DOESN’T LADYBUG HAVE ANTENNA OR WINGS???_

_Bugaboo121: WHAT KIND OF SUPERHERO HAS A SUPERPOWER THAT JUST BREAKS STUFF???_

_LadybugQueen: I take that back. This is super entertaining._

_MrWhiskers13: YO-YOS: WHO DECIDED THEYRE A WEAPON?!_

_Bugaboo121: AMOUNT OF TIMES CHAT NOIR HAS FALLEN OUT OF THE SKY: YOU’D THINK HE’D LEARN HOW TO LAND ON HIS FEET BY NOW!!!_

_MrWhiskers13: UR HIGHNESS WHOS BETTER LADYBUG OR CHAT NOIR_

_MrWhiskers13: WAIT DONT ANSWER THAT_

_LadybugQueen: I think they’re equally important_

_Bugaboo121: Wait what_

_MrWhiskers13: really?_

_LadybugQueen: Yeah, they’re a superhero team, not a hero and a sidekick or anything. They both work equally as hard as the other and couldn’t do everything they do without each other_

_LadybugQueen: Oh, hey, I ended up getting an idea for the next article anyway_

_LadybugQueen: Did I just make your brains explode?_

_MrWhiskers13: nah Σ:)_

_MrWhiskers13: lookin forward 2 ur next post tho_

_Bugaboo121: Yeah, it’ll be a good one :)_

_MrWhiskers13: >^_^<_

_Bugaboo121: :D_

->'v'<-

Ladybug slipped onto the terrace of the apartment complex, water rushing around her ankles to fall down to the sidewalk below. Outside it was a lovely day. The sun was shining warmly down on Parisians that made for an ideal day to spend at the park or zoo. However, in the building they’d been exploring for the better part of half an hour it was as if someone had collected every rain cloud in the past month and stuffed them into the ceiling tiles.

Scowling, Ladybug took only a moment to flip her bangs back and wipe the droplets out of her eyes before looking up to see how many floors they had to go. The next up was the penthouse, which, if she had learned _anything_ from being a superhero, was where they would find the akuma.

“Can we get up?”

Chat Noir guarded the door from the inside, watching the water on the floor for any more forms to pop out or whips of water to lash at them. He looked absolutely miserable. The ceiling was dripping water like rain, flooding every room to the point where they were swimming in some areas. Chat’s hair, which normally looked about as floofy as a newborn chick, was plastered to his head as he shivered in the indoor storm. His ears were pinned back and at some point when they’d first walked in his tail had wrapped itself around his ankle and hadn’t uncurled since.

It was actually kind of adorable, but she didn’t figure he’d appreciate being told that at this moment.

“There’s a ledge with a window right above us,” she said, squinting to see if maybe it had been unlocked. They’d tried climbing up the walls and yo-yoing up, but everything the water touched turned too slick and sent them tumbling back down. They’d been taking one set of stairs until a waterfall had nearly swept them all the way back to the main floor so they’d been forced to find alternative methods.

She made a noise of disapproval as she caught sight of the lock through the pane. “You wouldn’t have an issue with breaking a window, would you?”

Taking that as an okay to abandon his post, Chat joined her on the terrace and looked up at the window. “You wouldn’t have an issue with fixing it later, would you?”

She rose an eyebrow at him and he grinned at her.

“Fetch, kitty.”

He waggled his eyebrows and extended his staff. A minute later the two were climbing in through a broken window, cautiously looking around the bedroom they’d gotten into.

Ladybug flashed him a brief smile. “Good kitty.”

Despite how it was now raining on them again and his ears had pressed themselves back he returned the favor. “A cat winning a dog competition? What a cat-has-trophy.”

Ladybug’s groan was echoed from the doorway out of the room that had the two spinning to face it. The water themed villain had a mask that seemed to drip down his cheeks and a long, transparent cape. His face was twisted in a grimace at the bad joke, momentarily distracting him from attacking.

“Well there goes our sneak attack,” Ladybug grumbled, pulling out her yo-yo as Chat held his staff at the ready beside her.

The villain, The Eauvenger as he called himself, smirked as he summoned more water figures. “Hah, you call that a sneak attack? Perhaps you should try actually sneaking around if you want that plan to succeed!”

He expected indignation, anger, even annoyance. Not how the two superheroes looked at each other in surprise for a moment then burst out laughing. Baffled, he watched the two, unsure of how to proceed now that the regular animosity between hero and villain was broken.

“ _What’s going on?!_ ” Hawkmoth buzzed in the back of his mind, just as confused and more than a little irked at the odd behavior.

“I’m not certain,” Eauvenger answered.

“Hard to sneak up on anybody when you’ve got a bell on your neck, amiright?” Chat said, elbowing Ladybug playfully as she laughed at him.

“Maybe it would be easier if I had some wings to get us up here sooner?” she countered.

“Probably would’ve just ended with me falling again!”

“How could I beat anybody without you! I’ve only got _yo-yos!_ ”

The two cracked up, leaning on each other to keep from dripping into the puddles in the ground. Chat was barely holding himself up with his staff as Ladybug transitioned between attempting to refocus and devolving back to her giggling state again.

The Eauvenger shuffled awkwardly, sloshing water around his feet. “Should I, uh, do something? Should I wait?”

“ _Just…just take the Miraculous. This will just make it easier_.”

It did not make things easier. Paris’ favorite superheroes proved just as capable fighting off water monsters while laughing as they normally were, only occasionally looking back at each other and having to drop back to defense for a few moments as they got themselves back under control. Eventually though, Chat was able to pull an overdue utilities bill from the villain’s pocket and hand it off to Ladybug, who then ripped it up and purified the butterfly that flew out from the thin tear.

Ladybug’s magic swirled around them soon after, clearing up the pools on the floors, fixing water damage, and yes even repairing the window Chat had broken. The Eauvenger had been turned back to normal, looking somewhere between relieved and upset as he eyed the repaired bill on the floor. They gave a few parting words, Ladybug making a point to tell him to take shorter showers in the future or at least switch to taking baths, before departing over the rooftops of Paris.

They got a good distance away where they could still see the apartment building but wouldn’t be noticed by any reporters that might be on the lookout. Once they were sure they were safe they turned to each other with large grins.

“So I take it you read the Ladyblog?” Ladybug said, smile so wide it hurt her cheeks.

“Oh, yeah,” Chat replied, not laughing only because of how much he had during the fight a few minutes ago. “Her blog’s pretty good, but it’s the comments section that’s really interesting.”

Ladybug put a hand over her mouth to keep from bursting out again. “I’ve heard it gets pretty crazy.”

“Yup. There’s these two troublemakers in particular. One’s _hilarious_ and the other’s got this thing for exclamation points.”

She raised an eyebrow, her mask bending up to follow it. “Oh really? Because how I heard it one of them is clever while the other’s keyboard is missing both a shift key and any punctuation buttons.”

They locked eyes after a moment and laughed again. Ladybug punched Chat lightly in the arm and he pushed her back playfully, tail whipping back and forth happily. From their vantage point they could see the residents of the building they’d just liberated returning home to find their things in one piece, relieved and thankful smiles on their faces that made the heroes hearts a little lighter.

The two observed the scene for a while, eyes soft and standing comfortably next to each other. Considering they’d met up because of another attack they had managed to pull out a rather splendid day.

Eventually, Ladybug’s eyes flickered from the people in the apartment to Chat, taking on a different kind of tenderness. She leaned over and bumped her shoulder against his arm, gently bringing his attention back to her. She smiled at him and he grinned back, the high of saving the day bleeding off to expose the contentment of knowing that their city was safe again because of them.

She breathed a soft laugh. “So, are you planning on reading the blog again tonight?”

He gave a lazy shrug then whipped his staff up onto his shoulders just so he could drape his arms on top of it. His smile crinkled his eyes. “If I have the time.”

She snorted and poked him just below his ribs, making him cringe as she hit his ticklish spot. Giggling, she backed up to the edge of the roof, sticking out her tongue at him. “I’ll see you then.”

Chat watched her jump off the roof, catching herself with her yo-yo so gracefully it was almost like she could fly. Setting his staff back down, he leaned his cheek against it to watch her until she disappeared between the porcelain landscape.

His lovesickness sighed for him. “I can never _really_ win against you, can I?”


	5. The Gauntlet of Memes

“So,” Rose said, eyes wide with curiosity, “How is your blog going?”

Half the room’s foreheads were slapped in unison.

Alya was an exceedingly enthusiastic girl.  It was one of the things that Marinette admired so much in the blogger.  If she had to describe her friend in one word it would probably be ‘amped’.  This meant that when she got particularly invested in something that she was like her own nuclear reactor.  So if Alya got started talking about her blog then _everyone_ would be talking about her blog.

A few students, particularly Alix, Nathanael, Mylene, and Ivan, escaped the classroom as quickly as they were able.  Alya swiveled around in her chair towards Rose, eyes glinting with excitement behind her smart frames.  “I’m _glad_ you asked!”

Julika quirked a brow at her friend, which was mostly ignored because sweet, innocent Rose was genuinely interested in what Alya had to say.  “Yes, now she has an excuse to talk about it rather than bringing it up herself,” she said in a slightly teasing voice.

Alya grinned and leaned forward over Ivan’s empty desk, eyes half-lidded and waggling her eyebrows.  “Jealous of my success?”

The dark haired girl’s shoulders hunched slightly, as if surprised she had spoken out loud, before giving a sheepish smile.  Alya laughed good-naturedly, spurring smiles out of the other students in the room.

“How exactly does one determine the success of a blog?  Viewers?  Subscribers?  Reblogs?” Max chipped in, putting away his calculator.

Kim eyed the contraption dubiously.  “We didn’t have maths today.  Why do you have that out?”

“You never know when it might come in handy.”

“It’s generally judged by the number of viewers there are per article.  I can see which ones generate the most interest that way too,” Alya answered, pleased to get a little more into the technicals of running a blog.  A lot of it was keeping her writing entertaining and informative, but good headlines and shareable quality were important for success as well.  “Actually, my most recent article just became my most popular one on the site!”

Marinette gave her a small round of applause.  “Bravo!  Bravo!”  Alya laughed but gave a few small bows in accordance with her friend, the two devolving into giggles. 

As soon as the teacher had left, Nino had jumped up to sit on his table and turned to see the rest of his classmates.  His chin rested on his fist as he listened to the bubbly reporter talk, but now it moved to scratch the back of his neck in confusion.  “How do you tell whether someone’s read the whole thing or just the first few sentences?”

“You can’t, the number is based on how many people have opened the page.”

Adrien, who had politely stayed in his seat even if he was sitting in it backwards, leaned forward, a sparkle in his eyes that nearly matched Alya’s own.  “The one with the most views, that’s the one about how Ladybug and Chat Noir are equal and make two halves of a superhero duo?”

Alya beamed as she got up onto her chair and balanced herself by sitting on the back and resting her feet on the seat.  Despite being in a precarious position, she managed to sit straighter, as if perched on the throne her username would suggest she had stowed away somewhere.  “Glad to know where one of those numbers comes from.  Thanks for that princey-poo.”  She accentuated this with an exaggerated wink.

Rolling his eyes, Adrien grinned just a little wider.  He’d been making an effort to use both of his accounts on Alya’s blog.  After all, no one would suspect the quiet and respectful PastryPrince to also be the charismatic and roguishly handsome MrWhiskers.  Unless they cross-checked his grammar habits, but plenty of people used text chat in the comments these days.

“Oh puh- _lease_ ,” Chloe said, not looking up from doing her nails but wedging her way into the conversation anyway.  “Everyone _knows_ Ladybug does all the _actual_ work.  Chat Noir just breaks things and makes distractions.  Just because he has super _powers_ doesn’t make him a super _hero_.”

It was like a punch in the gut for Adrien to hear one of his closest friends say that.  He had enough self-confidence to know when he did things right and to recognize that the hard work he put into fighting akumas mattered.  Hearing Chloe brush off everything he’d done to help people as if he wasn’t even trying crushed his spirits.

Before he could come up with the words to somehow defend his alter ego, another tabletop in the room was slammed as someone stood up from their seat.  Adrien was a little shocked to see the normally peaceful Marinette absolutely _seething_ with anger, every bit of it aimed at the blonde at the front of the class room.  Even Chloe had jumped in her seat a little and was looking at the girl with wide eyes.

“How _dare you!_ After all the hard work he goes through to protect the citizens of Paris—to protect _you!—_ you would say that about Chat Noir?!  What about the time when Darkblade was attacking the town hall and Chat Noir defended us from a whole army of knights?  Or what about the time when the Evilustrator was after you?  Who stayed behind to guard you in case the villain showed up?  Or what about the time with the Copy Cat villain?  He stood around for _hours_ explaining to everyone that the villain had impersonated him and had to put up with insults for _weeks!_   And not _once_ did he complain about it!

“Ladybug might purify the akuma and fix everything at the end of the day, but there’s no way she could beat the villains without him!  He’s the best support she could ever ask for, and the best partner too.  He isn’t just a _sidekick_.  He’s a hero.  And they make the best hero team Paris—no—the _world_ has ever seen.”

There was a few moments of stunned silence in the classroom before Rose started clapping.

Chloe turned away, shoulders just a little hunched as she pouted down at her unfinished nails.  “Whatever,” she muttered, fiddling with the cap to the bright pink nail polish bottle.

“You know,” Sabrina said, fidgeting just slightly, “Chat Noir’s my favorite.”

“I _know_ that, Sabrina.  This isn’t even about you, gosh.”

“Wow girl,” Alya said, still a little shocked at the intensity with which her friend had spoken with, “Wish I’d gotten that all on tape.  It was pretty spectacular.”

“Oh, um, well yeah, I mean,” Marinette huffed a little, getting her words back in order, “People don’t get how important he really is to the team and laugh at him all the time.  I just get so… _fired up_ that he works just as hard as she does but people don’t treat him the same as Ladybug.”

It really was an issue they’d had to deal with before.  Reporters shoving around him to get interviews with Ladybug, fans showing clear favoritism, even police not divulging information to Chat until she showed up at a scene.  He never claimed to have an issue with it, happy to allow her to take the spotlight unless it interfered with their hero work.  Somehow though, that just made it more frustrating for her to watch when it happened.  And it happened more than she’d like.

“To be fair, some of the laughing is at his jokes.  Some people _do_ think he’s funny.”

Marinette rolled her eyes.  “If by ‘some people’ you mean ‘himself’.”  She stopped as she felt more eyes on her and looked down to the table below her.  Adrien was looking up at her with such a pure look of awe and admiration that it made her whole face turn pink in a matter of seconds.

“Oh!  I-uh-didn’t mean to sh-shout!  That was so—!  I’m such a—oh man, ah!  Y-you were sitting right there and I was yelling—I’m so sorry!” she fumbled to apologize as her emotions took an egg beater to any coherent thoughts that might have formed in her brain.

Adrien flushed as well at having been caught staring, sending Marinette’s heart flying into outer space.  “Oh, n-no, it’s fine, really!  It’s just that, um, I never realized that anyone else, uh, thought of Chat Noir that way?  I mean that, you know, he works as hard as Ladybug does and that they’re a team and all.”

She latched onto the subject that she felt comfortable defending, channeling a little of her alter ego to form a straight sentence.  “Well yeah!  They’re so much better together than they ever could be alone.”

Adrien smiled at her, so bright and _thankful_ that she could feel the ends of her pigtails curl.  “Yeah, they really are.”

Before she could try to reign in her blood pressure to continue the conversation, their private bubble was popped as Kim leaned inbetween them, grinning widely.  “Man, I’ve _never_ seen you get so pumped about something Marinette!  Except maybe sewing stuff, but that’s _way_ less cool than what that just was!  Dude, where’s all that energy when I need a jogging partner?”

Marinette wasn’t sure whether to be offended about the sewing comment or not.  “Um…”

Max somehow twisted his way in front of the energetic Kim, pushing up his glasses proudly as he displayed his calculator for her.  “According to this, the likelihood of Chloe making fun of Chat Noir again is at a 14.29%.  And most of that is just because she’s _Chloe.”_  He looked back at Kim with a smug grin, waggling the gadget in his hand.  “See?  You never know.”

Kim rolled his eyes, but smiled.  “Anyway, you girls wanna catch lunch or do you have plans already?”

“Uh,” Marinette turned to Alya to double check that they didn’t, only to find her friend staring at her with a cat-like grin.  She stiffened slightly.  “W-what?”

“Oh, you _know._ ”  Her eyes gestured suggestively towards the boys that were leaving the classroom.

Sensing they were being watched, Nino and Adrien turned at the last second and waved to the girls, sending Marinette through a whole new wave of fluster that she didn’t know how to deal with.  It didn’t help that Alya was laughing.

Kim looked between the two girls, puzzlement growing on his features.  “What?  What’s so funny?  Marinette, why’re you turning red?”

Max patted his friend’s arm gently as the girl buried her face in her hands, muffling her shrieks as best she could.  “You’ll understand one day.”

“Just not today,” Julika added, making Rose giggle as they passed by the front tables.

“Don’t you just _love_ love?”

 

->'v'<-

 

( _Post: Butterflies: The New Evil Animal Motif? – Comments - 16:41)_

 _Bugaboo121_ _: First!_

_StitchPrincess: You really should stop pestering LadybugQueen so much_

_Bugaboo121_ _: You can’t make me nyeh nyeh >:P_

_StitchPrincess: I could flag you!_

_Bugaboo121_ _: Just try it!  I dare you! >:)_

 _MrWhiskers13_ _: u need backup bugs? Σ:O_

 _Bugaboo121_ _: This little princess thinks she can stand against the great Bugaboo!!_

_StitchPrincess: Don’t think you’re above the mighty power of the princess!_

_StitchPrincess: I have connections!_

_LadybugQueen_ _: Princess, you don’t have to do this_

_StitchPrincess: I’m defending your honor don’t fight this_

_Bugaboo121_ _: I call for a jousting tournament! >:O_

_StitchPrincess: You’re on!_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: bugs is this necessary_

 _MrWhiskers13_ _: u dont evn kno her Σ:/_

_StitchPrincess: -Throws down gauntlet-_

_Bugaboo121_ _: she threw her gauntlet I have to accept_

 _Bugaboo121_ _: Which, btw, I ACCEPT_

 _MrWhiskers13_ _: -takes gauntlet-_

 _MrWhiskers13_ _: dangit Σ:(_

 _Bugaboo121_ _: Wth_

 _MrWhiskers13_ _: traditionally whoevr picks up the gauntlet accepts the challenge_

 _MrWhiskers13_ _: it doesnt have 2 b the person who was challenged_

 _Bugaboo121_ _: Nerd_

_StitchPrincess: Nerd_

_LadybugQueen_ _: Nerd_

_PastryPrince: thats fascinating you are very intelligent_

_StitchPrincess: wat_

_LadybugQueen_ _: Double nerd alert_

 _LadybugQueen_ _: How are you going to joust exactly?_

 _Bugaboo121_ _: Likes_

 _Bugaboo121_ _: Whoevers comments have the most likes wins >;)_

_StitchPrincess: Make a service announcement, Queen_

_PastryPrince: you dont need to do that_

_PastryPrince: you already did it_

_Bugaboo121_ _: Whiskers! Back me up! >:D_

 _MrWhiskers13_ _: yes maam! Σ:D_

 _LadybugQueen_ _: Not fair!  Princess doesn’t have backup_

_StitchPrincess: What about you?_

_LadybugQueen_ _: I’m the mediator, duh_

 _LadybugQueen_ _: Wait, brilliant idea: @PastryPrince help a girl out here_

_PastryPrince: sure! ill back you up princess_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: the prince thinks he can match the pun champion? Σ:3_

_PastryPrince: u havent seen nothin yet!_

_LadybugQueen_ _: I’m just imagining Buga and Princess riding horses like respectable knights_

 _LadybugQueen_ _: with Whiskers and Prince just hanging on the back, lol_

 _Bugaboo121_ _: Stop taking all the likes Your Majesty! >:(_

 _LadybugQueen_ _: I’m the queen for a reason_

 _Bugaboo121_ _: Tyranny! >:O_

_StitchPrincess: She is a just leader!_

_LadybugQueen_ _: My subjects seem to agree with the princess ;)_

_PastryPrince: the princess rules_

_Bugaboo121_ _: This isn’t my first rodeo >.>_

 _Bugaboo121_ _: Whiskers gimme a beat ^o^/_

 _MrWhiskers13_ _: -lays da sick beats-_

 _Bugaboo121_ _: You might be a princess but I’m the knight that will knock you off your throne >:0_

 _MrWhiskers13_ _: oooooooooooooooooooooooo snap! Σ:O_

_StitchPrincess: Better watch out because this princess can throw down_

_PastryPrince: snap! she calling you out!_

_Bugaboo121_ _: This duel should be called a solo cause there’s no challenge here at all_

 _MrWhiskers13_ _: SO SAVAGE!!!!_

_StitchPrincess: Sure you don’t wanna back out?  Cuz otherwise this princess is gonna have you beheaded_

_PastryPrince: off with her head!!_

_Bugaboo121_ _: Might wanna switch to wooden swords there princess!  Wouldnt wanna get a papercut_

 _MrWhiskers13_ _: still gotta watch those splinters tho!_

_StitchPrincess: Careful or this princess might stitch your mouth shut_

_PastryPrince: best watch yourself bugs!!_

_LadybugQueen_ _: Actually, I think we’re seeing a pretty strong winner here_

_PastryPrince: the fanbase is just 2 strong_

_StitchPrincess: Sorry Prince :(_

_PastryPrince: think nothing of it milady_

_PastryPrince: just glad 2 get the chance 2 back you up :)_

_Bugaboo121_ _: Better luck next time your majesties_

 _MrWhiskers13_ _: u did rlly good tho princess Σ;)_

 _MrWhiskers13_ _: but of course my bugaboo would come out on top!_

 _Bugaboo121_ _: Couldn’t have done it without you Whiskers Σ;)_

_StitchPrincess: This game is rigged_

_LadybugQueen_ _: All cheaters report to the chopping block post haste_

 _MrWhiskers13_ _: -runs 4 life-_

 _Bugaboo121_ _: Winners dont need to cheat HAHAHAHAHAHA_

 _Bugaboo121_ _: WTF Whiskers?!_

 _MrWhiskers13_ _: im jokin!! id never take ur perfect win from u Σ;)_

_StitchPrincess: You win this round, Bugaboo!  But don’t expect this to be the end!_

_PastryPrince: well take u down next time!!_

_Bugaboo121_ _: We’ll see about that!! MWUAHAHAHAHAHA_

 _Bugaboo121_ _: Laugh with me minions!  MWUAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!_

 _MrWhiskers13_ _: MWUAHAHAHAHAHA_

 _LadybugQueen_ _: What a pair of dorks_


	6. Talk About a Fanclub

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Otherwise known as the chapter that made my spellcheck start sending me hate mail.  
> Or the chapter where Adrien has the worst existential crisis.
> 
> Also, there's a lot of usernames that are really similar in this one. I originally wanted to put the usernames into different colors, but couldn't figure out how to transfer the color to AO3, even though I know it's somehow possible. So instead I tried messing around with the text a little? Let me know if it's easier to read or if you're still having troubles picking people out.
> 
> I would just change the usernames. But that's kind of the whole joke so...

_**Main Characters** _  
  
_ Secondary Characters _

 

( _Post: Superhero Physique: Lifting Villains as the Ultimate Workout – Comments – 12:42)_

_Boobug212_ _: wOW I just think that Cat NOIr is the BESTEST superhero EVR_

_MrWhispers367_ _: now ay ladybug is ttyl the bset_ _Σ:^O_

_Boobug212_ _: Nuh UH!!! UR totaly the best! <3_

_MrWhispers367_ _: but ur ttyl the best <333_

_Boobug212_ _: KISS ME WHISKERS!!! ;D <3_

_MrWhispers367_ _: i love you buagboo_

_Boobug212_ _: OMG I LUV YOU TO_

_(This thread has been flagged for this reason: inconsistency with article discussion/inappropriate content)_

_(This thread has been reviewed and approved by this mediator: **LadybugQueen** )_

**_LadybugQueen_ ** _: Denied_

**_Bugaboo121_ ** _: Wtf why_

**_LadybugQueen_ ** _: I think it’s funny_

_Boobug212_ _: OMG ITS BUGABOO HI BUGABOO!!!_

**_Bugaboo121_ ** _: It’s about as funny as Chat Noir’s jokes_

**_MrWhiskers13_ ** _: so hilarious then? Σ:3_

**_Bugaboo121_ ** _: You wish_

**_MrWhiskers13_ ** _: well I think its funny Σ:D_

_MrWhispers367_ _: omg its liek im seing doubl who is this empostor_

**_MrWhiskers13_ ** _: wat_

_MrWhispers367_ _: the nerv of some ppl trin 2 copy my usernome rit bugaboo Σ >:(_

**_MrWhiskers13_ ** _: i take back everything i said_

**_Bugaboo121_ ** _: Really?  I’m starting to get the appeal =)_

_Boobug212_ _: BUGABOO I JUST SENT YOU MY EMAIL PM ME PLZ >:D_

**_Bugaboo121_ ** _: Aaaand it’s gone_

_( ** _MrWhiskers13_** has been flagged for these reasons: inappropriate username)_

_( ** _MrWhiskers13_** has been reviewed and approved by this mediator: **LadybugQueen** )_

**_MrWhiskers13_ ** _: WTF_

**_Bugaboo121_ ** _: Uh oh he broke out the caps!  You’re in for it now! :0_

_MrWhispers367_ _: ladybagqueen we ned 2 get rid of the empostors!_

**_MrWhiskers13_ ** _: BUY A DICTIONARY_

**_MrWhiskers13_ ** _: OR SPELLCHECK_

**_Bugaboo121_ ** _: Kind of hypocritical there don’t you think?_

_Boobug212_ _: I HAVENT GOTTEN YUR PM YET HAVE U GOT MINE?_

**_Bugaboo121_ ** _: All 32 of them_

_Boobug212_ _: Y HAVNT YU ANSWERED YET I JUST WANNA B FRIENDS_

_Bugabomb63 : Can We Make A Separate Thread For Bugaboos Only Please?_

_Bugachu24 : that actually sounds fun_

_Buga+Whiskers4Evr : I feel like it would get confusing_

**_MrWhiskers13_ ** _: it got funny again_

**_Bugaboo121_ ** _: They’re multiplying!!! D:_

_Buga+Whiskers4Evr : Whiskers have you ever kissed Bugaboo before?_

**_MrWhiskers13_ ** _: do u think shed b able 2 resist me if I had Σ;)_

_MrWhispers367_ _: we kiss liek al the time its rlly g8_

**_MrWhiskers13_ ** _: butt OUT or else im flagging u back!_

**_MrWhiskers13_ ** _: i have connections! >:(_

_MrsWhiskers626 :  Quit picking on my kitty Whispers!_

_MissWhiskers14 : Yah >:O UR the empostor >:(_

_Bugabomb63 : Wait, Didn’t You Kiss When You Fought Dark Cupid Though?_

**_MrWhiskers13_ ** _: wat_

_Boobug212_ _: YO NO BUGABOO IRL??!?!?!??_

_Bugabomb63 : Isn’t Bugaboo Ladybug and MrWhiskers Chat Noir?_

**_Bugaboo121_ ** _: Hahahahahahahahaha why would you think that?_

**_MrWhiskers13_ ** _: those ar some pretyt wild acusations there_

_Bugabomb63 : Wait I Thought It Was Obvious_

**_MrWhiskers13_ ** _: wat do u mean ur craaaazy_

_Boobug212_ _: OMG_

**_Bugaboo121_ ** _: I’m definitely NOT Ladybug! How silly would that be?_

_MrsWhiskers626 : MrWhiskers is Chat Noir?!_

_Buga+Whiskers4Evr : My ship just turned canon I am freaking out guys_

**_LadybugQueen_ ** _: Hang on a second_

**_Bugaboo121_ ** _: It’s not what it looks like_

**_LadybugQueen_ ** _: There’s no way they could be Ladybug and Chat Noir_

_**StitchPrincess** : Yeah, Obviously_

_**PastryPrince** : here here!_

**_LadybugQueen_ ** _: It’s about as likely as me being Ladybug.  Why would she write a blog about herself?_

**_LadybugQueen_ ** _: Similarly, why would she troll a blog about herself?_

_**PastryPrince** : good question!_

_**StitchPrincess** : Bet you all feel pretty dumb now!_

_Boobug212_ _: Awwwww :((((_

_Bugabomb63 : I Guess That’s True…Ladybug’s Too Cool To Do Something Like That_

**_MrWhiskers13_ ** _: we r just faceless trolls hiding under bridges ready 2 emerge_

_**StitchPrincess** : When did you turn into a poet?_

**_MrWhiskers13_ ** _: just another of my god given talents princess Σ;)_

**_Bugaboo121_ ** _: What’s the other? Bad breath?_

**_LadybugQueen_ ** _: Besides, Ladybug is way more eloquent then Bugaboo and Chat Noir is funnier than Whiskers_

**_MrWhiskers13_ ** _: w.o.w._

**_Bugaboo121_ ** _: </3_

**_MrWhiskers13_ ** _: u know i came out 2 have a good time and i just feel so attacked rite now_

**_LadybugQueen_ ** _: What’s true is true_

_LadybugKing : The Queen hath decreed it!!!_

_LadybugDuke : Here hear!_

_LadybugbugQueen : u kno I think StormyWeather totally deserved to win that fight_

_(This thread has been deleted for these reasons:_ blank _mediated by **LadybugQueen** )_

->'v'<-

 

“I’m funny, right?”

The question came out of nowhere, just after their teacher had left the room at the end of the day.  Adrien had turned around in his chair so he was simultaneously eyeing the girls behind him and Nino beside him.  His eyes, wide with innocence and hope, flickered between his three friends.

Before Marinette could rush to assure him that he was perfect in every way— _oh my gosh don’t say that out loud oh my gosh—_ boisterous laughter in the back in the room cut her off.

“Keep telling yourself that, honey,” Alix said as she did up her skates.  Nathaniel said nothing but screwed up his face into one of apology when Adrien turned to him.

“Aw, c’mon man,” Nino said, patting his best friend on the shoulder as comforting as he could.  “You…make jokes?”

His actions only served to make the blond look more offended.  “But I’m the class clown!”

Alix was laughing again.  Max pushed up his glasses but looked as if he were about to inform someone they’d failed math class.  “Actually, Kim is the class clown.”

“Heck yeah I am!” said boy exclaimed, dropping down to one knee and pumping his arms, eliciting chuckles from the other students.

“I thought Kim was the class athlete!”

“That’s Alix.  She doubles as the class punk.”

Adrien looked as if he’d just been marooned on an empty island out at sea.  “What am I then?”

Max exchanged a look with Alya, who grimaced.  “Uh, either the class pretty boy or class celebrity.”

“What!  I’m not—well I mean, I _am_ but—!”

Alix skated down the stairs, patting the indignant boy on his head as she passed.  “You’re literally a model, honey.  You can’t deny it.”

Adrien pouted for another moment before leaning back in his chair, tilting his head so that he could see behind him.  “Chloé, I’m funny, right?”

Chloé didn’t look up from her compact as Sabrina gathered up her things for her.  “You’re _hilarious,_ Adrikins.”

The triumphant grin was met with a snort from Alya.  “Chloé would agree with you on anything.”

“No she _wouldn’t,_ ” he defended.  Then paused.  And turned back around.  “Hey Chloé, corduroy is totally back in style, right?”

“Of _course_ it is Adrikins.”

When he turned back to the others with his face in a wrinkle his friends laughed.

“You need someone to tell things to you straight, boy,” Alya said with a devilish grin.  “For example, Marinette, what do you think of corduroy?”

The petite girl jumped at being pulled into the conversation.  She glanced at Adrien, who still had the pull of a pout in the lines in his face but was looking at her with honest curiosity.  Her natural inclination was to say whatever would make him happy but that wouldn’t be _honest_ , which was exactly what they were talking about.

“Well, I think it’s out of fashion at the moment, but it works well in vintage pieces and I honestly _love_ the look of corduroy overalls.”

Adrien looked somewhere on the brink of horrified.

Nino laughed.  “You know, maybe the reason why you don’t like corduroy is because you can’t pull it off.”

“ _Excuse me?_ ”  Indignation replaced horror as he put a hand to his chest.  “I can pull off _anything._ ”

The three laughed, none in any rush to return home as the other students trickled out.  Mylene gave a shy wave to Marinette before following Ivan out the door.  Max and Kim headed for the library for some tutoring while Rose and Juleka had stopped by Sabrina’s desk to chat a bit before Chloé decided she wanted to leave.

“Yeah,” Alya said through her chuckles, “ _definitely_ class pretty boy.”

“I _am_ funny!” he said again, but more confidently this time.  When he was met with several noises of disagreement he scowled.  “I _am!_  Look—knock knock.”

Nino rolled his eyes but amended, “Who’s there?”

“Atch.”

“Atch who?”

“Bless you!”

Adrien looked so proud of himself but it even took Marinette a minute to swallow her groan and attempt a laugh.  Though according to the look on his face it sounded about as fake as it really was.

“O- _kay_ ,” he said after a moment, “not my _best_.  Here’s one, knock knock.”

“Who’s there?” all three said at once.

“Fire.”

“Fire who?”

“Fire your doorman because I can’t get in!”

Three sets of groans were accented by a single laugh.  Everyone swiveled their heads towards Chloé.  She grinned, a bit smugly, at them.  “ _I_ get it.”

Adrien winked and shot finger guns at her, to which she rolled her eyes.  Though the smile didn’t leave her face.

“Yeah, that one really had me in _stitches_ ,” Marinette said, a grin slowly growing on her face.

This elicited some real laughter from anyone listening and a certain amount of exasperation from the blond boy.

“Seriously?  The class pretty girl get more laughs than me?”

Marinette’s face turned bright red in two seconds flat even as Chloé let out a gasp of indignation.

“Hey, _I’m_ the class pretty girl!”

Adrien turned around again, not noticing how flustered Marinette was or how Alya and Nino were shooting knowing looks at one another.  “What do you mean?  I thought you were the class queen?”

She stopped any argument she might have been building up with a delicate pout.  “Well, that too, I suppose.”

“Wait, then what’s Marinette?”

“Class dork or something?  I don’t know.”

Alya jumped in, glaring daggers over the top of Adrien’s head.  “She’s the class fashonista, _obviously._ ”

Adrien clutched his head.  “Everything I thought I knew is a lie!

Nino chuckled.  “Who did you think was class king, dude?”

“I dunno, you?  Everyone looks up to you and you’re good at taking charge.  You were the director of the film we did that one time.”

The boy grinned, puffed up a bit at the compliment even as he shook his head.  “Nah man, class DJ right here.”

Adrien slapped his forehead.  “Duh.  And Alya?”

She rose her hand, thoroughly amused with the whole situation.  “Class reporter.  Still funnier than you though.”

Marinette lightly slapped her friend on her arm.  “Oh stop it.  At least his jokes are creative.”  Then she grinned.  “Orange you glad he didn’t say banana?” Even Adrien couldn’t help but laugh at that one.  She was good.  He’d have to take notes in the future.

 “That was funny,” Alya admitted, “But neither of you are at the level of Chat Noir.”

Marinette’s mouth fell open in disbelief, mirrored in short time by Adrien as he processed what she said.  “What?” they said in unison, in completely contrasting tones.

“Oh yeah,” Nino chimed in, “That dude’s _hilarious!”_

“And _I’m not?!”_ Adrien nearly screeched.

“You could take some pointers.  He’s a master of puns after all,” Alya said rather matter-of-factly.

“Chat Noir?  _Funny?_ ”  Marinette was staring at Alya as if her friend had just denounced her own blog.

“Dude, wouldn’t it be awesome if he did a class or something on comedy?  Man, sign me up.”

“Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,” Adrien interjected, practically throwing himself between the two.  “Let me get this straight.  _Chat Noir_ is funny—” Marinette made a strangled noise halfway between disbelief and laughter, “but _I_ am _not_.”

Alya gave him a sad shake of her head, red curls bouncing, as Nino patted his back once again.  “It’s an art.  Not everyone can be good at it.”

As he leaned back in his seat nearly tearing his hair out, Marinette leaned against her table with a look of defeat.

“I can’t believe this.”

“You’re not alone,” Adrien grumbled.

Alya laughed at the two of them and, while they were still sulking, whipped out her phone and snapped a picture of them.  She leaned over to show the result to a snickering Nino as the two moping sat to attention.

“What was that?” Marinette asked, trying to see what mischief her friend had wrought this time.

“Just your new contact photos, don’t worry about it.”

“Alya, I’m worrying about it.”

“Shh, sh-shh,” Alya hushed, leaning over to deliberately push her finger to her friend’s lips.  “Don’t worry about it.”

“Alya,” Adrien said, raising his hand, “Now I’m worrying about it.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

A grin stretched across Nino’s face.  “Me too.  I’m worrying about it.”

The blogger tried to angle a glare to all three at the same time with a surprising amount of success.  “Stop worrying about it.”

Marinette couldn’t help the grin building up.  “But Alya—”

“Hushhh,” she said, this time putting her whole hand over Marinette’s smug face.  “ _Stop.  Worrying_ about it.”

The group devolved into giggles once again as they all started hushing each other in a circle.  Then Adrien’s phone buzzed.  After a hearty round of everyone shushing the device, he finally looked at the message and rolled his eyes.

“Pho—” he was cut off by three loud _shushes_ and had to laugh before continuing.  “I’ve got a _photo shoot_ later, so I have to leave for dress rehearsal.”

Chloé was at their desk so fast it was like a mosquito catching the scent of a blood drive.  “Sounds _fun!_  Mind if I tag along?”

Adrien grinned, again missing the annoyance the other two girls were aiming at the Bourgeois.  “Sure!  I’d love to have company!”  He grabbed his bag, slinging it around his shoulder as Sabrina said bye to Rose and Juleka.  He started out of the classroom but waved at his friends before leaving.  “See you guys tomorrow!”

They all waved amicably, but when he was gone Marinette let out a wistful sigh.  “He thought I was class _pretty girl.”_

Nino laughed.  “Girl, you got it bad.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternative end: “Nino laughed. "So Chloe’s real title is class b****, right?”"


	7. Would Recommend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I start a chapter with an idea of where I want it to go but then I always get distracted and it turns into something else entirely.

“So stop me if this is taboo.”

Ladybug raised an eyebrow at her partner, the only indication to go on.

Chat’s eyes glimmered with faint hope, lighting up his green eyes.  “Are you…different as a civilian?”

The other superhero paused in her stroll, indecision in the jut of her hip.  The day had started out with them going on “patrol,” but had degraded to a lazy path around museum island for the past hour when nothing excited happened.  Currently, they were on their third circuit of Notre Dame, weaving between spires and balancing across flying buttresses while chatting innocently with each other.

There wasn’t much of a point to going fast or slow on patrols since there was no way to tell where they might find trouble.  Sometimes they’d chase each other across Paris with boundless energy and stumble across a robber.  Other times they took a break and sat on the edge of a roof, only for the windows on the other side of the street to shatter as an akuma was born.

No matter what, they stuck to the roofs.  The streets of Paris were busy no matter what district you were in, which made dashing from one side of the city to the other difficult.  But besides that, being so high up above everyone else was like a private thrill.  Well, private between the two of them

Chat’s question bordered on taboo, but he was just cautious enough about it that even if Ladybug brushed an answer off it wouldn’t ruin the mood.  He hadn’t asked anything like this since she’d put their true identities in the “off-limits” box.  Despite how distractingly playful he could be when he wasn’t being nosy in one way or another, he listened to her seriously.

And if she were being honest with herself, she was kind of curious about the Chat beneath the mask as well.  A smile grew on her face as a thought popped up.

“Why don’t you guess?”

Chat had been comfortably crouching on a restored arch like one of the gargoyles, but almost fell off in surprise.  Whether it was because he didn’t expect the suggestion or _had_ expected to be denied right out, she’d never know.

“Huh?” he asked eloquently, when he wasn’t in danger of tumbling the many stories to the concrete.

She grinned at his reaction.  It was difficult to make him flustered so she felt rather proud of herself for it.  “Guess what kind of person I am outside of the mask and I’ll tell you if you’re close.”

As he looked pensive about this, Ladybug started to weave through the spires again.  Chat hopped after her, always quick to follow his lady.  They got to the top of the chapel and looked down at all the tourists lined up, prepared to take pictures of every niche and cranny of the inside of the building.  Kids and adults posed in front of the doors, trying to tactfully angle themselves so the lines and other people taking pictures wouldn’t be shown in their own keepsakes.  Ladybug backed off, not wanting to accidently photobomb someone’s memorabilia.

“I got it,” Chat said when she turned back around, smiling proudly and tail swishing behind him.

Leaning back on her heels and not bothering to hide a smirk, Ladybug gestured for him to continue.

“First of all, you’re a bodybuilder.”  She snorted but Chat could not be deterred.  “Like, one of those people who’s on the treadmill for two hours and has people sit on the bar while you lift it.  So you go to the gym right after school and when you’re done you go to the local soup kitchen for volunteer work, and when you get home you feed your pet cat, finish all your homework in five minutes because you’re so smart, then you knit sweaters for the poor before you go to bed.”

Chat just looked so _proud_ that she couldn’t hold her laughter back any longer.

And he just looked _more_ smug, dangit!  “Amazed I got it all in one go?”

“Oh _absolutely._ Have you been following me?”

“I may be a kitty, but you’re my partner, not my prey.  Though, if you _want_ to play a game of cat and mouse…”  He waggled his eyebrows and she snorted with a roll of her eyes.  “Okay, your turn!”

Ladybug stood back to appraise him, noticing as he stood a little straighter with her eyes on him.  Just to tease him a little, she walked in a slow circle around him, giggling as he fidgeted.

“Um, LB?”

“Okay, I got it.”

He turned to look at her, smile half a mile wide.

“You’re the type of guy who fantasizes about having a mullet and walking around with no shoes but you wear guyliner and tight jeans instead because you think it impresses girls.”  Chat laughed and Ladybug waited until he was listening again to go on.  “You sit down to do your homework but end up playing video games for hours instead.  You strike me as a multiplayer kind of guy.  You come home for lunch but take a nap instead then complain about being hungry all day, and your favorite food is croque monsieur.”

Chat was laughing again, but held himself together enough to say, “And yours is chocolate banana crepes!”

She scoffed and held a hand to her chest, as if offended.  “Ex- _cuse_ you!  It’s chocolate _strawberry_ crepes!”

He gasped, cringing away.  “ _Strawberries?!_ Sacrilege of the highest order!  I’m afraid I can’t work with someone who puts strawberries above bananas.”

“What!  Have you never had strawberry and chocolate ice cream together?”

Chat reeled in disgust.  “You _mix_ your ice cream flavors?”

Ladybug’s expression changed to pity.  “You poor, poor kitty.  So much responsibility on your shoulders and you haven’t even _lived_ yet.”  The smile returned with a mischievous edge.  “Have you had…scrambled eggs and ketchup?”

“What?  No!  Eww!”

“French fries dipped in a smoothie?”

“No!”

“Oreos with peanut butter?”

“ _No!”_

“Ham, sour cream, and pickles.  Soy sauce and mac and cheese.  _Chocolate chip cookies and fig jam.”_

“ _I’m not listening!”_

Chat lunged at her playfully, which was easily dodged by a laughing Ladybug.

“You’re so _gross!”_ he said with a shiver.

She cocked an eyebrow at him.  “You’re probably one of those people who doesn’t like their eggs to touch their sausage, huh?”

“They’re not made to be eaten at the same time!  You’re the weird one!”

Chat was chasing her around the roof of Notre Dame.  Always just a step behind but with a playful bounce.

“You’re _weird!_ ”

“ _You’re_ weird!”

They laughed at one another until Ladybug twirled around a spire and flicked her yo-yo.  A moment later and Chat was tangled up by the string.

He pouted as she giggled and approached.  “Follow me, kitty.  I’m gonna expand your horizons.”  She flicked his bell, making him grin, then untangled him so she could swing away.

Smiling, Chat followed close behind.

\--

Ladybug led him to _Vente_ _À_ _Emporter_ in the middle of a busy shopping district, to order some of the best ice cream in the city.  The two had touched down in the middle of the pedestrian walkway, startling a good few of the people who were minding their own businesses, and were casually swamped by the crowd.  Everyone had whipped out their cellphones in record time, taking pictures and asking questions.

They had arrived on a mission, but for a bit the two superheroes just talked to fans, taking pictures and answering one or two mild questions.  Usually when they were talking to citizens it was news reporters or certain curious blog writers with more structured questions and a needling for the truth.  Every once and a while it was nice to just connect with regular people who looked up to them.

And through all the questions and pictures, there was an overwhelming need for autographs from the heroes.  The sheer diversity of paper with which they had written on that day was something for the record books.  Chat was able to scrawl his superhero name in record time with a pen, with even a cute little pawprint as the O in Noir.  Autographs were clearly new for Ladybug, who had taken to just using Chat’s back as a writing platform after she’d botched the first few ones.

After a bit, Chat noticed that Ladybug was starting to look tired of keeping up with the many people and their requests and took it upon himself to inform the multitudes that they were there on a low key mission.  He was casual about the announcement, but people seemed to catch on quickly and allowed the heroes to break away and get in line for their frozen treats.

Despite how many people had broken away in order to meet with Paris’ protectors, the line was still long.  This meant the ice cream was likely very good so the two didn’t mind the wait.  In the meantime though, Chat placed his back between Ladybug and the people to give her some breathing room.  He hoped that it wasn’t obvious what he was doing, but judging by her thankful look, it was.

When they finally made it to the front of the line, Ladybug took the lead once again.  She didn’t even look down at the display of frozen treats, already sure of what they were ordering.  “Two chocolate and strawberry rose ice creams, please.”

When Chat made a face at the order, the girl sculpting the roses paused.

Noticing the hesitation, Ladybug stood on her tiptoes to lean over the glass display and brought up a hand to stage whisper, “First time flavor mixer.  Don’t worry about it.”

Reassured, the girl quickly finished the order.  Even if he didn’t like the taste, Chat would have to admit the way the ice cream was arranged to look like a flower was very pretty.  He’d have to come back as Adrien sometime, maybe show his friends the cute parlor and treat them to something nice.

“I got it,” Chat quickly said when he saw Ladybug pull out what looked like a Ladybug print coin purse.

She stuck her tongue out at him.  “You can pay when we get crepes later.  I’ll take care of this one.”

The Gentleman’s Code urged him to insist, but he knew if he pushed her she would just get offended.  Fine.  He’d buy her twenty crepes later.

Having gathered their sweets and waved goodbye to their fans, Chat vaulted them up to the roofs since Ladybug’s yo-yo would have made her spill her cone.  They carefully but quickly hopped the few blocks it took to see the Seine from a ledge balancing the desserts with rapt attention.

“Watch out, yours is melting!”

“So is yours!”

The two took their seats next to one another and began licking away the dribbles before their suits got stained.  The sun was bright, but not stiflingly so.  Just the perfect weather for cold food.

“How is it?”  Ladybug was grinning, already sure of his answer.

He pouted because she was right.  She was _Ladybug_ though.  She was _always_ right.  Heaving a dramatic sigh, Chat answered, “It’s _good.”_

If there was a way to smugly eat ice cream, Ladybug was accomplishing it.  When it came to sweets there was nobody with better taste than her.

“We should leave a review.  Like, superhero approved service and food.”

“That sounds like a lot of work.”

“Hmm, you’re right.”

Chat crunched on his cone, waving back to some people on a tour boat that had spotted them against the skyline.  Heh, spotted.  He’d have to use that some time.

A grin overtook Ladybug’s face.  “I know where we _could_ post reviews.”

 

->'v'<-

 

( _Post: Ladybug and Chat Noir Sighting: Ice Cream a Superhero’s Favorite Treat? – Comments – 10:12)_

_Bugaboo121_ _: Pomme de Pain: Always fresh fruit nice sandwiches friendly service! 8/10 :D_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: la Crème de paris: good venue gr8 crepes 9/10_

_Bugaboo121_ _: Vente_ _À_ _Emporter:  Good ice cream selection great service nice presentation 10/10 ;P_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: angelina: best hot chocolate tbh rly good desserts 10/10_

_Bugaboo121_ _: Really? I’ve never been :?_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: its gr8 ill take u nxt time_

_LadybugQueen_ _: What are you doing_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: wat does it look lyk?_

_LadybugQueen_ _: It looks like your spam posting my blog again_

_Bugaboo121_ _: We don’t spam post!! >:O_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: rude_

_Bugaboo121_ _: Everything we write is absolute poetry!!! \\-o-/_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: poetry_

_LadybugQueen_ _: Well, first of all, lies_

_LadybugQueen_ _: Second of all, I literally made a forum for you two.  Go do whatever this is over there_

_Bugaboo121_ _: Hmm………………_

_Bugaboo121_ _: Nah ;)_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: its easier 2 get ur attention here_

_LadybugQueen_ _: You guys are the worst_

_Bugaboo121_ _: We’re the best!! XD_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: im gonna have 2 agree w/ the second 1_

_Bugaboo121_ _: You know what’s also the best?!_

_Bugaboo121_ _: Eiffel Tower: Great view very tall 10/10 ;)_

_LadybugQueen_ _: You’re seriously doing this to me?_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: seine: not 2 short not 2 long very wet 10/10_

_Bugaboo121_ _: Arc de Triumphe: Nice arches 10/10 ;D_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: birds: cute but 2 many feathers 4/10_

_Bugaboo121_ _: Grass: Nice shade of green soft kinda itchy leaves stains 7/10 :/_

_Bugaboo121_ _: Also_

_Bugaboo121_ _: Birds: Adorable soft makes cute noises: 9/10 :P_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: well just have 2 agree 2 disagree_

_LadybugQueen_ _: You’re seriously doing this to me_

_Bugaboo121_ _: …_

_Bugaboo121_ _: Ladyblog: In-depth articles fantastic writing 10/10 :D_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: ladyblog: gr8 analysis writin passionate editor 10/10_

_LadybugQueen_ _: Aww, you guys_

_LadybugQueen_ _: You’re still not forgiven_

_Bugaboo121_ _: I just kinda figured we’ve past the point of forgiveness long ago_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: passed*_

_Bugaboo121_ _: Nerd_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: hey ive got an idea_

_Bugaboo121: Uh oh_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: ur highness wats the best ice cream flavor_

_Bugaboo121_ _: That’s not fair_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: shes a neutral third party wats not fair_

_Bugaboo121_ _: She has much higher tastes than either of us this solves nothing_

_LadybugQueen_ _: Probably cookies and cream, why?_

_Bugaboo121_ _: Seriously?_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: bugs doesnt think ice cream should hve chunky bits in em_

_Bugaboo121_ _: They’re gross if you want something on it then sprinkle it on top!!! >:(_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: but then u only get it 4 the top part of the cone!!!_

_Bugaboo121_ _: Whisker’s ice cream tastes: 0/10_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: y must u do this_

_Bugaboo121_ _: Because I can and you’ll just take it like a man_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: since when hve i evr done that_

_Bugaboo121_ _: True_

_Bugaboo121_ _: Because I can and you’ll take it like a wuss_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: better_

_LadybugQueen_ _: You two are infuriating_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: thanks_ _∑_ _;)_

_Bugaboo121_ _: Aww you’re making me blush! ///^u^///_

_LadybugQueen_ _: Good to know someone’s getting a kick out of this_

_Bugaboo121_ _: You know you love us <3_

_LadybugQueen_ _: I’d love if you actually chatted about things pertaining to the articles I post_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: we r tho!_

_LadybugQueen_ _: In what twisted way_

_Bugaboo121_ _: This article is clearly about ice cream and we’re talking about ice cream! :d C >_

_LadybugQueen_ _: And grass_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: write an article on grass + well talk bout grass there!_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: in the meantime well talk bout grass here_

_Bugaboo121_ _: How else are we going to pester you?_

_Bugaboo121_ _: It’s not like we know you in real life_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: yah haha how crazy would that b_

_LadybugQueen_ _: I don’t think I could stand you two in real life_

_Bugaboo121_ _: I bet…_

_Bugaboo121_ _: You and I would be BEST FRIENDS_

_LadybugQueen_ _: LIES_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: o no youd just love bugs_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: shes totes the type u look up 2_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: super badass_

_Bugaboo121_ _: Okay enough from you_

_MrWhiskers13_ _:_ _∑_ _:3 <3_

_Bugaboo121_ _: Yeah yeah_

_LadybugQueen_ _: Sorry, but my BFF position is already filled by a super cool gal_

_LadybugQueen_ _: Not even Ladybug could make me change my mind about that_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: friendship goals_

_Bugaboo121_ _: No one could ask for a better friend than you_

_LadybugQueen_ _: You two are really laying it on thick today, aren’t you?_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: we r nothing if not truthful_

_LadybugQueen_ _: Uh-huh_

_Bugaboo121_ _: Lying to the Queen is grounds for beheading we’d never chance it_

_LadybugQueen_ _: You got that right_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: all hail the queen_

_LadybugQueen_ _: You guys are so weird_


	8. Sweet Revenge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Could anyone have ever guessed that I would come up with a semi-plot/ending for this weird fic that was created by me just thinking of funny things and giggling to myself as I wrote them out? No? Great. Because neither did I.  
> Also, I'm happy because I got to use my favorite emoji face in this one.

( _LadybugQueen_ has opened a private chat with _Bugaboo121_ and _MrWhiskers13_ )

 _LadybugQueen_ _: I have a mission for the two of you_

 _MrWhiskers13_ _: o?_

 _Bugaboo121_ _: Do tell >:)_

 _LadybugQueen_ _: I can’t tell whether you guys are actually dedicated to the discussion of superheroes or if you just like to come to my blog specifically and troll me_

 _Bugaboo121_ _: Oh we’re very invested in the superhero life ;)_

 _MrWhiskers13_ _: we probly no more than the heroes themselves by now_ _∑;)_

 _LadybugQueen_ _: Pretty sure neither of you can beat my top tier knowledge but whatever_

 _LadybugQueen_ _: So do you read any other blogs or accounts?_

 _Bugaboo121_ _: I would not do such a traitorous action my queen!!!!!!!!! >:O0O_

 _MrWhiskers13_ _: I read spotted!, cat call, and supertalk sometimes but ur the only 1 I read all the updates 4_ _∑:3_

 _Bugaboo121_ _: How dare you!!!_

 _MrWhiskers13_ _: gotta stay informed somehow_ _∑;)_

 _LadybugQueen_ _: Onto my original reason why I contacted the two of you specifically: Do either of you know what Cat Chat is?_

 _MrWhiskers13_ _: unfortunately_

 _Bugaboo121_ _: What?  What is it? :?_

 _LadybugQueen_ _: Don’t look it up_

 _LadybugQueen_ _: We don’t want to give them any more page views than they already have_

 _Bugaboo121_ _: What is it!!! :???_

 _MrWhiskers13_ _: they pretend theyre a superhero blog_

 _LadybugQueen_ _: But it’s really just a thing dedicated to fantasizing about LB and CN and making completely unfounded conclusions then spreading them around the internet community like lice in a kindergarten class_

 _MrWhiskers13_ _: I was just gonna say they dont take it seriously, but that works 2_

 _Bugaboo121_ _: Hence the reason why I don’t read other blogs \\(- <-)/_

 _LadybugQueen_ _: My point is, recently they did something completely heinous_

 _LadybugQueen_ _: They took one of my interview videos with Ladybug, put a bunch of filters on it, cropped me out of every shot, and are claiming that they took the video_

 _Bugaboo121_ _: WHAT_

 _MrWhiskers13_ _: have u done any copyright stuff or somethin?!_

 _LadybugQueen_ _: It’s difficult since they use a different blogging platform than I do_

 _LadybugQueen_ _: I’ve contacted the mediators but they haven’t done anything about it yet_

 _Bugaboo121_ _: Is there anything we can do to help??? ~\^v^/~_

_MrWhiskers13: were here 4 u ur majesty!_

_LadybugQueen_ _: Yes, actually_

 _LadybugQueen_ _: With the bonus that it will make me very_

 _LadybugQueen_ _: Very happy_

 _MrWhiskers13_ _: nvm can we back out of this Im scared_

 _Bugaboo121_ _: I rescind that “anything” until I know what it is you are having us do O.O_

 

( _ChatChat_ has opened up a PM to _LadybugQueen_ )

_ChatChat: Take them back._

_LadybugQueen_ _: I’m sorry, who are you?_

_ChatChat: I write and edit the Cat Chat.  So tell your trolls to back off already._

_LadybugQueen_ _: Oh, sorry, did you mean these trolls?_

( _LadybugQueen_ has invited _Bugaboo121_ and _MrWhiskers13_ to this conversation)

 _Bugaboo121_ _: Did someone call? ^^3_

 _MrWhiskers13_ _: we emerge_

_ChatChat: I would sue you two if I knew who you were!!!_

_Bugaboo121_ _: But you don’t!!! :V ;)))_

 _MrWhiskers13_ _: what xactly would u sue us 4_ _∑:?_

_ChatChat: Being utter and complete NUISANCES!_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: fair enough_

 _Bugaboo121_ _: There’s reason in that :D_

 _ChatChat: You’re not clever_ _LadybugQueen_ _, not in the slightest.  I saw through your little charade almost immediately._

 _Bugaboo121_ _: Well it’s not like we were being subtle ¯\\_(_ _ツ)_/¯_

 _MrWhiskers13_ _: should I get the banner?_ _∑:O_

 _Bugaboo121_ _: Please get the banner >:3_

_ChatChat: NO._

_ChatChat: STOP._

_Bugaboo121_ _: There’s no stopping him now ;D_

 _MrWhiskers13_ _:_ _∑:3_

 _MrWhiskers13_ _:_

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_ChatChat: I have lost more followers in the past few weeks than I gained in the past three months._

_LadybugQueen_ _: Well that can’t be good.  Gee, these guys must have been posting some really toxic content for so many people to have left_

 _MrWhiskers13_ _: au contrair ur majesty!  we r filled only w/ positivity + kindness + lots of links 2 ur blog_

 _Bugaboo121_ _: and a keen knack for pointing out when someone is **! WRONG!** about something :D_

 _MrWhiskers13_ _: there were some late nihts contradicting that “animal theme = furry” post_

 _Bugaboo121_ _: I thought we agreed to never speak of that again XXXP :X_

_ChatChat: I have HAD it with you two!  Literally over half of the amount of comments in my comment section are from you!  Even when I BAN you from my blog you just make guest accounts or brand new accounts and post again and again.  WHAT WILL IT TAKE FOR YOU TO GO AWAY._

_LadybugQueen_ _: I’m honestly pretty impressed with you CatChat, I started making threats much sooner when they started showing up on my blog_

 _Bugaboo121_ _: You shall never be rid of us!!! >:D_

 _MrWhiskers13_ _: we r like the plague!_

 _Bugaboo121_ _: They got rid of that_

 _MrWhiskers13_ _: o right_

 _MrWhiskers13_ _: were like mold in ur fridge!  evry time u think uve gotten it all were_ still there

 _Bugaboo121_ _: We’re like stinky gym socks!!!  You think you’ve washed them all but one always escapes!!!!!!! DX_

 _MrWhiskers13_ _: were like a stain on ur shirt!  evn after uve washed it u will always c an outline_

 _Bugaboo121_ _: We’re like rust on your faucet!! XO  Cold showers for days!!!!! XP_

 _MrWhiskers13_ _: truly heinous_

_ChatChat: WOULD YOU JUST STOP._

_LadybugQueen_ _: Heel, my subjects_

 _Bugaboo121_ _: -v-//_

 _MrWhiskers13_ _:_ _∑:3_

 _LadybugQueen_ _: There is a very simple way that you can make all this stop CatChat.  It even requires very little effort on your part_

_ChatChat: WHAT IS IT I WILL DO IT._

_LadybugQueen_ _: Take down the post where you edited my video and posted it as yours and replace it with an apology for using another person’s material and claiming it as your own._

 _LadybugQueen_ _: Then all you have to do is make sure something like that NEVER HAPPENS AGAIN_

 _LadybugQueen_ _: Pretty simple terms if I do say so myself_

_ChatChat: Fine._

_ChatChat: I am so done with you people._

_ChatChat: I’ll take down the video.  I won’t even read your unoriginal blog ever again._

_Bugaboo121_ _: Pretty sure you’re the one who’s unoriginal, dear ;)_

_ChatChat: But I will jump into a thousand mile high volcano before I would even CONSIDER writing an APOLOGY toward you imbeciles._

_LadybugQueen_ _: Fine.  Then enjoy this for the rest of your blogging days_

 _MrWhiskers13_ _:_

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 _Bugaboo121_ _:_

 ☻/ _This is bob. Copy and paste him so he can take over Paris_  
/▌  
/\

 _MrWhiskers13_ _: I CANT TURN OFF CAPS LOCK WAT DO I DO?_

 _Bugaboo121_ _: THERE’S NO REVERSING IT!!! THAT’S WHAT HAPPENED TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

_ChatChat: OH MY GOD FINE._

_ChatChat: YOU WIN, JUST STAY AWAY FROM ME FOREVER._

_LadybugQueen_ _: I think we can agree to that, can’t we?_

 _MrWhiskers13_ _: yes maam!_

_ChatChat: STAY OUT OF MY LIFE._

_Bugaboo121_ _: <3 you too!!!_

 _(_ _Bugaboo121_ has opened a PM with _MrWhiskers13_ and _LadybugQueen_ _)_

 _Bugaboo121_ _: JK, I don’t really <3 them ;)_

 

->'v'<-

 

“Hah!  HAH!  _HAH!_ ” Alya boasted, grinning as the two girls walked to school.  Both had freshly baked croissants in their hands, straight from the Dupain-Cheng bakery where Alya had waited for her friend to get ready for school.  Marinette had woken up to a text from her best friend, cryptically saying she was waiting for her downstairs.  Getting ready quickly was a bit of a scramble, but the wide grin on Alya’s face was worth waking up early.

Marinette smiled patiently at her friend.  “I’m glad to hear everything worked out.  Hopefully Catchat learned their lesson about stealing content from other people.”

“If anything they learned not to steal from _me!”_ Alya said with a shark-like grin.  “Fear me internet for I have more power than you can _imagine!”_  She struck a triumphant pose, made slightly less impressive by the pastry in her grasp.

“And a keyboard sharper than your tongue,” Marinette added with roll of her eyes.

The brunette waggled her eyebrows, making her glasses jiggle.  “You got that right!”  Giggling, the girls started their way up the school stairs.

“You two seem to be in a good mood this morning.”

Adrien’s voice nearly sent Marinette falling up the last few steps, saved only by Alya casually steadying her.  This was a regular enough occurrence by now that saving her best friend from faceplanting on the pavement was like muscle memory.

Nino raised an eyebrow at the two from where the boys loitered by the school entrance.  Likely more surprised at the fact that they had arrived early than anything else.  “Something happen?”

The girls changed direction to join them, settling into a comfortable square between the four of them.  Alya grinned slyly.  “Oh, nothing much.  I just proved _yet again_ that I can do anything I set my mind to!  No big deal.”

There was a look that Nino shot his best friend, as if to ask what she meant.  Despite how Adrien hadn’t stopped grinning since the girls got there he gave an unknowing shrug in response.  He was probably going to get far more than he was asking for but Nino had to admit that he was curious.  Alya’s default mood was confident but she was downright smug this morning.  Nino turned back to her.  “So what exactly happened?”

The twinkle in the blogger’s eye let them know they were in for it.  “You know those two commenters that are a pain in my side?”

There were two smiles, ineffectively hidden, and a raised eyebrow in response.

“For the past few weeks they’ve been working for _me.”_

The gasps were over the top, but glossed over by Alya in leu of puffing up proudly, brandishing her croissant like a scepter.  Marinette and Adrien, likewise, seemed too caught up in their own responses to realize the other's was a bit too ridiculous.  Nino was the only one left to give each of his friends incredulous looks.  A task which he took to dutifully.  “What?”

“There was an issue with another blog stealing my work so I kinda _hired_ the trolls to take care of it for me.”  Her smirk could rival any of Chat Noir’s easily.

“Whaaaaaat?”

“For real?”

Okay, Nino’s weird friends were _really_ weird.  Alya talked about her blog often enough that he was more familiar with halfway enthusiastic listening from her most common victims but this was _definitely_ strange.  In fact, now that he thought about it, Adrien and Marinette often seemed personally invested in whatever Alya wanted to rant to them about.  He had always just sort of assumed that it was because the four of them were closer to each other than anyone else in class or that they were really respecting how much effort and passion Alya put into her work.  This reaction, however, was starting to make him think twice on that assumption.

It was as if they were in on some kind of joke that he wasn’t privy to.  Although it seemed that Alya hadn’t picked up on it either.  More interested now in Adrien and Marinette’s reactions than Alya’s story, he egged her to go on.  “So you hired the dudes you kind of want to fall off the edge of the world?”

She snorted at his assessment but had a sort of fond look on her face.  “They annoy the heck out of me, but I recognize controlled chaos when I see it.  They’re _annoying_ but not _bad._   They just get out of hand.  I figured if I gave them a goal they would catch on like fire.”  Her grin returned full force.  “And I was right!”

“Like harnessing a hurricane,” Marinette giggled.

“Or wrestling a wet panther,” Adrien threw in.

Nino’s stares became more confounded.  “Was all this public?”

“All the stuff they posted on the CatChat was, but hiring them was private.  For all the public knows, two crazy Ladyblog fans just started bugging another superhero blog.”  Alya tipped her head to her side in thought.  “I guess they were a little more obvious than just that.  Or I’m not giving Catchat enough credit because they actually figured it out that I was the instigator.”

“Impossible.” Marinette waved off immediately with an unnerving amount of confidence that couldn’t one hundred percent be chalked up to trusting her friend’s abilities.  “If they were dumb enough to steal from you then they’re not smart enough to figure out that you had anything to do with it.”

“Whatever the trolls did I’m sure Catchat deserved it,” Adrien backed up as naturally as if they had planned what they were going to say.

Alright, Nino was downright _suspicious._

But Alya was nodding happily, allowing herself to be comforted by her friends’ wild words.  “Yeah, you’re right.  I bet one of them PM’d Catchat or dropped hints in the comments.  Man, it’s like having a secret service at my fingertips!  I could _rule_ the superblog niche!  MUAHAHAHA!”

Alya cackled, tipping her head back and raising her arms as if she were about to rain reports and flags down from the sky.  The two weirdos laughed and even Nino couldn’t help the snort that came out.

When she was done Alya flipped her hair back over her shoulder with a casual air.  “Nah, I’m way too cool for that.  I’m just glad my weekly headaches have all paid out in the end.”

“Think about it though, Alya,” Adrien said, casually draping an arm around her shoulder.  “All that power now in your possession.  You could not only be the _LadybugQueen_ but the _InternetQueen_ as well!”

She was amused but not sold, punctuating her response with an uninterested bite of her croissant.

Marinette grinned, bumping shoulders with her friend so that the blogger was trapped between her friends.  The petite girl stage whispered, “All would know you for your superhero wisdom and mighty army of trolls.”

Nino saw both faces light up with utter glee before saying in tandem, “The _TrollQueen!”_

Alya laughed as something clicked for Nino.  He was starting to think he was wearing headphones too often from the irl feedback when he and Alya chorused, “Oh my god.”

The poor girl was oblivious.  Should he tell her?  He was afraid of getting involved though.  Just imagining what kind of reaction she would have would surely pale in comparison to whatever would actually happen.  How had he not noticed before?  It was as if they didn’t talk about the blog _every day._

Regardless of the horrific epiphany Nino was going through, Alya laughed.  “You know, I would totally change my username to that if I wasn’t worried they wouldn’t take me seriously anymore.”

“Awww.”

“No fun.”

Nino deadpanned at the offenders.  “You won’t get away with this for long.”

They assumed he was talking to Alya since she was standing between them.  She snorted.  “I’m not _keeping_ them under my employment.  But I’m planning on rewarding them anyway.”

Adrien and Marinette perked up at that.  How did Alya not see?  How had _he_ not seen?  They were so obvious he was embarrassed _for_ them.

“What are you thinking?” Adrien asked, incredibly unsubtly, and _how did she not notice?_

Alya grinned her signature smile before winking at him.  “It’s a _surprise_ for now!  But I think you two could benefit from it too.”  She turned her head to Marinette, giving another wink.

Finally, their shit-eating grins were replaced with bafflement.

Nino sighed, putting his head in his hands.  “You infuriate me.”

Alya laughed yet again, accentuated by the first bell ringing.  “What can I say?  They’re rubbing off on me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you can't tell what the banner says, it's okay. I only blame myself and the voice that came up with the idea that took me half an hour to make.
> 
> SAVE THE LADYBLOG


	9. Surverys Start Wars: Confirmed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bug is unhappy  
> Cat tries to send kisses through computer screen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters with a reasonable amount of time between them? What has science done!
> 
> Also, this chapter is more...serious? Or perhaps just less silly than they usually are because of plot reasons. Also, bugs apparently don't like it when you discuss their alterego's love life in front of them. You learn something new everyday.

_I have a very serious question_

Nino and Adrien exchanged worried looks with one another while Mrs. Bustier’s back was turned.  The note had been flicked onto the middle of their table while their teacher had been asking someone a question on the other side of the room.  Adrien used his pencil to write a note in the corner of his notebook, attempting to look inconspicuous and slid it over to Nino.

_Who wrote it?_

With a roll of the eyes, Nino employed the same tactic as his friend, carefully transitioning between looking at the board and his paper.

_It’s Alya’s handwriting_

Of course it was.

Adrien replied, _Can’t it wait until class is over?_

Instead of answering, Nino tore the note from Adrien’s paper and tossed it over his shoulder before the teacher had a chance to look at what had caused the noise.  When Adrien was able to give him a horrified look at the close call, Nino merely shrugged and tried to smother his smug expression.

It was a while until the next note came.  The two saw how much had been written on the page, maybe taking up half a piece of paper, and simultaneously agreed that it could wait.  The balls of paper Alya started throwing at the backs of their heads said otherwise.  They were fairly determined to ignore her and the plan succeeded for all of three minutes before one of the balls of paper sailed past their heads and almost hit the teacher.

As soon as the teacher was facing away from them, they whipped around with horror on their faces to meet Alya’s merciless gaze and another ball of paper already wadded up between her fingers.  Marinette shrugged helplessly and pointed to the front to warn them of Mrs. Bustier’s gaze.

They weren’t getting out of this one, apparently.  When Alya got a plan in her head there was really no way to weasel out of it.  Nino pushed the long note to Adrien, who frowned and pushed it back.  Back and forth they went until a hailstorm of paper rained down on their heads.  Alya was going to need a new notebook by the end of the day.

The note had landed in Nino’s possession, who slumped his cheek into his hand and threw a soft glare at Adrien but began to read.  When he was done, Nino tipped his head back in a silent groan and turned to summarize the paper for Adrien.

_She needs to know_

At Adrien’s confused look he shrugged and sent a glare back to Alya with a questioning wave of his hand.

The next note included a picture this time.  A ladybug and a cat head with a little heart between them and underneath…

_Do you ship it?_

As Adrien frowned and tried to decide whether he should be disturbed that they were having a note conversation of his alter-ego’s love life, Nino gave a long-suffering sigh and picked up his pencil.

 _No_ was scribbled beneath the question.

Which, according to Adrien’s expression was the wrong thing to say.

_Y?!_

Nino scrunched up his nose.  _Chat’s pretty obvious.  If LB was into it wouldn’t they be together already?_

Adrien slumped and Nino did his best not to roll his eyes when Mrs. Bustier looked over at them.

Shoot, she was raising her eyebrows.  “Boys, can you remind me what a comma-splice is?”

Seeing his friend’s look of horror, Adrien jumped to answer.  “A comma-splice occurs when a sentence consisting of two complete sentences has been mistakenly separated by a comma.”

The teacher smiled and the boys relaxed just a fraction.  “Very good, Adrien.  Nino, how do we fix a comma-splice?”

Nino, who had thought he was in the clear for all of two seconds, looked like a deer caught in the headlights.  “Um…you, uh…”  He glanced at Adrien, who was grimacing.  No help there.  He’d have to actually try to recall the lesson.  Trying to ignore the way Mrs. Bustier’s eyebrows slowly crawled up to her forehead, he wracked his brains.  “A…it’s a period, right?  You turn the comma into a period?”

If it weren’t for Adrien’s sigh of relief, he would have kept thinking he was wrong for another half minute before the teacher nodded her head.  “Yes, that’s one way to fix a comma-splice, although another way would be to change the comma into a semi-colon in order to connect both the sentences.  Very good.”

The boys gave each other a fist bump beneath the table as the lesson continued.  Only for the moment to be ruined again by Alya’s foot swinging into the back of Nino’s chair.  Expression devolving into one of annoyance, he wrote in the obvious _yes_ that was Adrien’s answer onto the paper and flung it back at the girls.

There was a quiet _eep!_ from Marinette that meant his aim was off, but Mrs. Bustier didn’t seem to notice.

Adrien and Nino focused for the rest of the class on not incurring Mrs. Bustier’s wrath once again, managing all the way up to when the bell rang for class to be over.  They were informed of a worksheet that had been uploaded online to their school accounts they would have to do when they got home, which no one was particularly happy about but when was a kid ever happy to receive homework?  Then they had a ten-minute break to go to their lockers to exchange books, go to the bathroom, or to just relax until their next teacher got to the classroom.

Which nobody did, instead opting to swarm Alya and Marinette’s table like bees to a pot of honey.

“So, what are the results?” Alix asked, having pushed Ivan to the side so that she could lean over his table and into the girls’ space.

“While I don’t condone note-passing during class, I will also admit that I am curious,” Max said with a touch of embarrassment.

Alya waved them all off.  “Alright, alright, I’ve got it all here.  It looks like seven people said yes and seven said no.”  There was a pause as everyone looked at their friends with betrayed expressions.  “Huh, that’s a lot more split than I thought it was going to be.”

“Seriously?” Alix said with a scowl aimed toward her classmates.  “They’re a superhero team!  Love and gushy romance stuff would just screw everything up.  Watch any superhero movie, it’s the truth.”

“Yeah!” Kim said excitedly, exchanging a high-five with the pinkette.  “Superheroes are for awesome stunts and fighting evil villains, not hugging and kissing and stuff!”

“But isn’t it just so _romantic?”_ Rose interjected with a wistful sigh.  “Battling bad guys and then when the day is saved they meet together at the top of the Eiffel Tower and exchange a kiss, not knowing each other’s true identities, just knowing that they love each other?”

“Don’t you think that’s weird though?” Juleka asked quietly.  “Why would you fall in love with someone you don’t even know?”

“But they’re both superheroes!  They know what the other is going through,” Milene said.  “They can connect with each other through the battles they’ve faced together!”  Ivan gave an agreed noise, to several people’s surprise.

“Just because they’re both superheroes doesn’t mean they _have_ to like each other like that,” Nathanial muttered with a slight bite.

There was a huff from Chloé, who hadn’t gotten up from her chair but who had been obviously listening.  “Well if you want _my_ opinion—”

“Not really,” Marinette muttered.

“I think you all have forgotten a very important detail.”  She waited just long enough to make sure everyone’s attention was on her before flipping her hair and shooting them all a smug grin.  “What if Ladybug isn’t even into guys, huh?”

The awkward acceptance that they had overlooked that detail was offset by Adrien and Nathaniel’s horrified expressions.

Sabrina fidgeted with the hem of her sweater vest.  “B-But the question was whether we like the idea of them being together, Chloé, not—”

“I _know_ what the question said, Sabrina!  I’m _just_ saying!”

“I mean, fair point,” Alya admitted.  “But yeah, I was just taking a poll on what everyone thinks.”

Rose gasped.  “Is this going on your blog?”

“I wouldn’t include names, but yeah, I wanted a general idea of people’s opinions.”

Marinette gave Alya the most betrayed look anyone had ever seen from the girl.  “You’re doing _what?!_   Why didn’t you ask me first? _”_

Alya rolled her eyes.  “I know you’re on the no side, but I don’t need your permission to write a blog post that’s all about speculation.”

“You’re on the no side?” Adrien asked, sounding personally upset by her answer.

Her eyes widened at his tone.  “You’re on the yes side?”

“I don’t think I can be friends with you anymore, Adrien,” Alix deadpanned.

He wheeled around in his seat with a sudden passion in his eyes.  “Chat Noir _loves_ Ladybug!  How can I not want them to end up together?”

Marinette scoffed.  “He doesn’t love the real Ladybug though.  He just loves her as a superhero.  Or at least _thinks_ he loves her.”

Half the class made sounds of approval.  The other half was clearly displeased with the statement.  Suddenly there seemed to be a rift between all the students.

“That’s not necessarily true,” Alya said, not entirely disappointed but more wanting to play devil’s advocate.  “Nobody knows whether they know each other’s secret identities or not.  They might be friends outside of their superhero personas.”

Kim’s expression was horrified.  “Wouldn’t that mean he’s _always_ flirting with her then?”

Marinette’s eyes widened.  “I don’t think I could stand that.”

“Here, here,” Juleka agreed with a spark of amusement.

“Well, I think having someone kissing the ground you walk on at all times sounds fabulous,” Chloé said, sending a toothy grin back at Marinette’s glare.

“I-I kind of like the idea of someone always thinking about you too,” Sabrina said, fidgeting with her fingers.  “It sounds r-really romantic.”

Marinette snorted.  “I think serious romance is the last thing on that boy’s mind.”

Nathaniel scowled.  “He probably just likes her because she’s pretty and cool and awesome and—”

“Yes, yes, we’re all aware of your celebrity crush.”

“H-Hey!”

Adrien sent a glare, a _glare,_ at Marinette, making her prickle in response.  “I think he’s serious!  Maybe they don’t know each other’s identities but why does that matter!  You don’t have to know each other intimately already to love someone for what you’ve seen of them and want to get to know them better!”

There were cheers from Sabrina, Alya, Max, Meline, Ivan, and Rose as they joined Adrien at the front of the room.

Marinette liked Adrien.  Like, _really_ liked him.  But she wasn’t going to back off on her opinions just because they didn’t agree.  She stood up, leaning against her table and matching Adrien eye for eye.  “Something like that has to go two ways though!  Love isn’t a matter of one person obsessing over the other.  Maybe Ladybug has someone else she’s interested in!  And besides, the two of them work better as a super team.  Knowing each other’s identities would just get in the way of their work!”

Nino, Kim, Alix, Nathaniel, Julika, and even _Chloé_ all whooped with agreement.  The class was really split now, heralding behind Adrien and Marinette under the banners for the love or lack of between their favorite superheroes.

Adrien leaned forward, placing his hands on Marinette’s desk.  “Ladybug’s honest though!  If she really wasn’t interested in Chat at all then she would tell him and he would respectfully back off!  But she flirts with him almost as much as he flirts with her, I don’t think that’s a sign that she dislikes him, do you?”

The group behind him exchanged a few nervous glances at their leader’s increasingly loud argument points, letting out a half-hearted “whoo.”

Marinette glared back, slapping her hands on the table as well.  “Well If Chat can’t see that Ladybug isn’t intending on returning his feelings and keeps pressing then he’s an idiot that’s not even worth her time!”

What might have been another enthusiastic call from the other team turned into a nervous half-cheer from the other side.  Maybe this was getting out of hand?

“What would you know?!”

“What would _you_ know?!”

“Yes, please tell me what either of you know about measuring the weight of molecules.  Or should I continue with my lesson after all?”

Adrien and Marinette jumped away from each other as Mme Mendeliev walked into the classroom with raised eyebrows at all the students gathered at the front of the room.  Under her strict gaze, everyone quickly returned to their seats, mumbling apologies that no one was sure who they were meant for.  Mme Mendeliev wasted no time getting things set up for her lesson, already explaining what they would be going over that day as if she _hadn’t_ walked into a warzone not a minute ago.

Alya huffed at the argument she had sort of set up before poking at her still fuming best friend.  Who knew the love birds could get so stubborn with each other?  And people feared _her_ wrath.  Ha!

Nino bumped his shoulder against Adrien’s, who was still scowling and staring at his notes as if the letters had personally offended him.  When he looked up it was with a certain amount of betrayal, though Nino rolled his eyes in response.  The love lives of their city’s protectors really didn’t interest him enough to bother with arguing about opinions.  Adrien would get over it.  It wasn’t like he was going to change his mind about what he thought after all that.

What Nino was really interested in was what this particular blog post had to do with Bugaboo and MrWhiskers.  He’d kept his mouth shut in front of Alya thus far and was more or less planning on keeping it that way.  He had known the secret for too long to convince Alya that he had nothing to do with it and when she found out what her friends had been doing he wanted to be as far away from firing range as possible.  Still, it wasn’t like he had to keep it a secret from Adrien that he knew.  In fact, it would probably be hilarious to see him figure it out with the added benefit that it would probably knock him out of the mood he was currently in.

Grinning to himself (because his friends weren’t the only ones who could be trolls), Nino pulled his pencil back out and scribbled out his question before casually pushing it towards his friend.

_So do you think this is the post she’s making as a gift for you?_

At first Adrien had seemed disinterested in continuing their note passing, but after Nino insisted a bit he gave a sad boy sigh and pulled over the note.  Then promptly froze as he read it.  A sort of horrified grin threatened to expand on his face as their teacher talked about mole people being used as a unit for measurement.  No wait, that couldn’t be right.  Maybe Nino should actually pay attention before he got called out on it again…

Nah, watching Adrien panic was way funnier.

His friend was scribbling a frantic reply, seeming to be just barely holding himself back from jumping up and questioning Nino loudly.  When the paper was pushed back toward him with a jerky movement, Nino ignored it, instead keeping his attention on the board with feigned interest while watching Adrien’s increasingly manic expression out of the corner of his eye.  It was only when the blond started jabbing him with his pencil did he give a put-upon _sigh_ and move the paper so that he could read it.

_What do you mean by that?  She didn’t say she was making me anything.  Why would she make me anything?_

It was so hilariously unsubtle that he was surprised they hadn’t caught the girls’ attention yet.

_Oh, you know, just the post she said she was going to make you for helping her with the CatChat thing._

The response was quick and pushed almost frantically back.

_I didn’t have anything to do with that.  That was the trolls._

Nino didn’t bother writing a note this time.  Instead he raised his eyebrows and settled his cheek on his hand, fixing his friend with a level stare.  Adrien looked at him with increasing worry before it all dropped, along with his jaw.

“ _Mon Dieu.”_

It was all Nino could do to smother his own laughter.  Adrien didn’t even bother to hide his horror.  Which of course drew the attention of their teacher.

“Boys!  _What_ might I ask is so funny?!”  Mme Mendeleiv called out from where she was drawing a diagram of some kind of molecule.

Adrien was too busy staring at his desk as if it had grown a face and was demanding to be fed erasers so it was up to Nino to find someway out of this.  Setting aside his giggles, he cleared his throat and went with the first thing that came to mind.

“We were just talking about why they’re called moles.  Did the guy who made them just like the animal or was his name actually, like, Alphonse _Mole?_ ”

Mme Mendeleiv actually looked caught off guard with that.  “Well, I, uh, that’s…an excellent question Nino.”

He might as well just be handed his degree in BS’ing right now.

“Why don’t you look up the answer tonight and have an answer prepared for the class tomorrow?”

Well, you can’t win them all.

After she had gone back to the board, Nino turned back to his friend, who was glaring at him between his fingers.  Nino grinned back, proud of his accomplishments for the day.  Survived the wrath of not one but _two_ teachers, managed not get totally involved during the class-wide argument, and got his best friend to blue screen in the middle of class.  Good day.

Adrien was pushing more paper at him.  This oughtta be even better.

_How did you figure it out?_

_Well Whiskers—_

Adrien was apparently watching him write because he hadn’t even lifted his pencil off the paper before Adrien’s pen was scribbling out the word on the paper, nearly making Nino bark with laughter once again.  The glare that was sent his way was met by a smug grin.

_You two are really not subtle._

He had thought his words would earn him another pout at least, but was met instead with a look of surprise.

_Me and Alya?_

Nino squinted at him before replying:

_You and Marinette_

The look on his face.

It was just.

Too much.

Nino didn’t even try to hold back his laughter this time, instantly getting him a command to go to the principal’s office for disturbing the class.

It was oh so worth it.

 

->'v'<-

_(Post: Our SuperDuo: Budding Romance or Battlefield Companions? – Comments – 4:48)_

_Bugaboo121: Everyone should take note that these **AREN’T** facts they’re speculation_

_LadybugQueen_ _: Pretty sure I said that in the article already_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: well the only 1s who could confirm any of it r the heroes themselves ;)_

_Bugaboo121: Which they haven’t_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: but they could_

_Bugaboo121: or they couldn’t XoX/_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: maybe if LB gave CN a chance_ _∑;)_

_Bugaboo121: or MAYBE if CN realized that LB would TELL HIM if she was interested >:( _

_MrWhiskers13_ _: ok how bout this_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: lets stop talking bout CN + LB_

_Bugaboo121: Really??? >.>_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: and talk bout u + me_

_Bugaboo121: Wtf are you serious right now_

_Bugabomb63: Yes_

_Boobug212: YES_

_Buga+Whiskers4Evr: OHMIGODITSHAPPENING_

_Bugaboo121: THIS DOESN’T CONCERN YOU LOT_

_Bugaboo121: And we’re NOT talking about this!!!!!_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: o come on Bugaboo_ _∑;)_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: ure already in <3 with me u just dont no it yet _ _∑;)_

_Bugaboo121: Wow that’s really helping your “I’m not insane and infatuated” case quite a bit there_

_Bugaboo121: Sarcasm intended XP_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: it helps that Im in <3 with this crazy beautiful girl _ _∑;)_

_Bugaboo121: I’m not in the mood today, Whiskers >>:(_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: Im always in the mood 2 tell u like it is_

_Bugaboo121: You’re always in the mood to flirt unsuccessfully_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: I get the feeling my luck is goin 2 change here soon_ _∑:D_

_LadybugQueen: Would you two just kiss already omg_

_MrWhiskers13: it would b my pleasure Σ;)_

_MrWhiskers13: ^3^~ <3_

_ <3_

_ <3_

_ <3_

_ <3_

_MrWhiskers13: catch it!_

_Bugaboo121: <3_

_:| <3_

_ <3   :|_

_ <3              :|_

_Bugaboo121: Would you look at that_

_Bugaboo121: It missed_

_MrWhiskers13: </3_

_Bugaboo121: Why do you think that silly flirting is going to convince me to go on a date with someone I hardly know?_

_LadybugQueen_ _: Sweetheart, that’s what dating is: getting to know each other_

_Bugaboo121: Not you too!_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: bsides I no u super well.  u could almost say I no u as well as if we sat next 2 each other in class_

_LadybugQueen_ _: That’s weirdly specific_

_MrWhiskers13_ _:_ _∑;)_ _∑;)_ _∑;)_ _∑;)_ _∑;)_ _∑;)_

_Bugaboo121: Okay, that was kind of mean X(_

_Bugaboo121: It’s not like we’re strangers ;_;_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: thank u_

_Bugaboo121: But you already know how I feel about this -_-‘_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: not really_

_LadybugQueen_ _: Which is?_

_Bugaboo121: Have I not made it 100% obvious????? >:O_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: Im kinda afraid 2 say no but Id b lying if I said yes_

_Bugaboo121: Well here it is_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: its ben like half an hour since ur last post is this really that long or did u have a stroke?_

_LadybugQueen_ _: If she has been typing this whole time then I really feel bad for you, Whiskers_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: you’re kind of leaving me hanging here Bugs_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: Bugaboo?_

_(Bugaboo121_ has opened a private chat with _MrWhiskers13)_

_Bugaboo121: I don’t know_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: u dont no if ure having a stroke?  need me 2 look up symptoms?_

_Bugaboo121: You know what I mean_

_Bugaboo121: I like you.  You’re pretty much my best friend.  But there’s another guy I really like too.  Like really like._

_MrWhiskers13_ _: I c_

_Bugaboo121: And I’ve liked him for a while now and I know that it’s probably just a silly crush by now, but I won’t ever feel good about myself unless I at least try to make something out of these feelings that I have rather than just trying to force myself to move on_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: ok_

_Bugaboo121: But I always get so nervous around him because he’s just so amazing and I really really like him but I can barely even act like a normal human being around him most days because I’m not really as strong and elegant as I must seem to you and am really just a klutz but especially around this boy_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: u wake up more elegant every day_

_Bugaboo121: And yeah if I admit to myself you’re an amazing guy and maybe if I didn’t already have these feelings for someone else I would want to try something out with you, but I owe it to myself to follow the feelings I already have first.  But it’s also not fair for me to be like putting you on a back burner and just expect you to wait for me to work things out with another guy before being straight with you_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: well ure being upfront bout it now so points_

_Bugaboo121: And ohmygod I just realized what an absolute jerk I’m being by telling you all this when you don’t want to hear about all these weird feelings I’m having for another guy I’m so sorry_

_Bugaboo121: Seriously, I’m so sorry, I’m such a jerk, I wasn’t thinking I just starting venting and couldn’t stop XP_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: on any normal occasion I might b jealous Ill admit_

_Bugaboo121: What??? :?_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: but I can guarantee that ud prefer the genuine article here if u new what u were getting in 4_

_Bugaboo121: Seriously Whiskers??? -_-‘  Even after everything I just said???_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: Im blond_

_Bugaboo121: What does that have to do with anything?!?!?!_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: Im rich_

_Bugaboo121: And I’m not a gold-digger, thanks :E_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: Im a parttime model_

_Bugaboo121: You’re bluffing >:(_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: Im not_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: Im a straight a student_

_Bugaboo121: Where are you going with this_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: 1 of my best friends is the coolest most chill dude u will evr meet + always has a pair of headphones round his neck_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: nother 1 of my close friends runs this awesome blog bout superheroes + likes 2 remind us of her success evryday_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: and there’s this talented, beautiful, and surprisingly incredible girl that sits behind me who I’ve been in love with for a long time but only recently found out_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: …_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: was that obvious enough?_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: Princess?_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: Bugaboo?_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: u doin alright there?_

->'v'<-

Adrien was tapping his fingers next to his mouse, tapping his foot on the floor, and chewing his lip as he waited and waited for a response.  Maybe he should have done this in person.  Yeah, he definitely should have talked to her in person.  But something about talking to her through the Ladyblog had always seemed so much more casual.  Plus he didn’t exactly know how soon he would see her again but knew she would be on the Ladyblog as soon as the article went up.  With his newfound knowledge à-la-Nino he couldn’t wait for the later option.

Then again, he had totally passed up a chance at setting a romantic mood at the top of the Eiffel Tower or at the Arc de Triomphe.  Of dropping hints and just as she seemed to understand to drop his transformation in a flourish and see her gasp of joy in person.  That would have been _amazing._

Then again, he was well aware that her actual reaction probably had a lot less delight and a lot more screaming.

So there he was, staring at the chat window and hitting the F5 key maybe every twenty seconds when the jarring sound of his window slamming made him jump and nearly fall out of his rolling chair.  He turned around as gracefully as he could after barely saving himself from face planting on the floor to find Ladybug standing in his room.

“Lady—” he said, his voice an octave higher than he wanted it to be before clearing his throat with a blush.  “Ah, um, I mean, uh…”  He looked at her before giving a sheepish grin.  “Hey.”

Her expression was surprisingly…unexpressive.  He had guessed she would be anywhere between overjoyed to outraged, but he hadn’t quite expected…well, nothing.

She walked over to him, where he tried not to fidget.  Come on, Adrien, this was your partner, this was Marinette.  Why are you getting so worked up all of a sudden?

Ladybug stopped when there was barely any space left between them at all.  They stared into each other’s eyes.  A question and confirmation passed between them with no spoken words.

Then, to his utter relief, she broke out in the widest grin he’d ever seen on her.  “I always knew you’d look good in leather.”

And before he could laugh she stole his lips with her own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternative Chapter Title: "How Did This Turn into a Reveal Fic?"
> 
> Yay! We're so close to the end! Just one more chapter and I will feel accomplished!
> 
> In other news, Net Neutrality! It's a great thing. If you want to read their dating profile, learn more about how we might be saying goodbye far sooner than anyone wants to be, or find out how you can help with helping to get them to stick around, go here!:! battleforthenet.com/onemorevote/
> 
> Spread the message! Contact your State Senator! If you don't live in the USA, pray for our safety. I love being able to read fanfiction, online comics, watch tv, and play indie games online without having to pay extra to my network provider just to have equal network rights to everyone else. The alternative doesn't sound too good so let's do what we can while we have the chance!
> 
> And now that I'm done preaching my bit: I hope each and every one of you who reads this has a great day :)


	10. All the Love in the World

“ _Bein Jouie!”_

The superheroes bumped fists, exchanging smiles that communicated far more than their words did.  Ladybug felt the urge to grab Chat Noir’s wrist and pull him into a kiss but barely managed to hold herself back.  There was never any certainty of where reporters could be and they weren’t quite ready to explain their relationship yet.  Eventually they would.  Just not today.

So for now she settled with noticing how his eyes bounced down to her lips and knowing that he was thinking the same thing.

She gave him a wink and headed over to the woman who had been akumatized.  The lady was holding her head and looking around in confusion.  Ladybug felt a pang of pity for her, knowing the last hour or so had been completely erased from her memories.  Akumatization had to be rough.

Ladybug squatted down in front of her, not feeling any need to hurry things along since neither of the heroes had used their magic this time.  “How are you feeling?” she asked kindly, offering a hand.

The woman looked up, accepting the help to stand a little sheepishly.  Ladybug wasn’t familiar with her, only having been introduced when the woman was already calling herself _Sunscream_.  Her circumstances weren’t certain, but she had been growing palm trees around the city.  That was weird, but what was weirder was when the roots of the trees started turning the streets into sand and dropping coconuts with little, angry faces and tiny fists.  What they lacked in size they made up for in sheer numbers, as the heroes had found.

When they’d found her in a grove of the trees and shouting about how she would turn the entirety of Paris into a beach she had looked like a completely stereotypical American tourist.  Everything from the flip-flops on her feet to the tacky Hawaiian print on her supervillain getup was completely cringe worthy.  The akuma had ended up being in the big, pink sunglasses she wore.  Which they definitely hadn’t figured out by Ladybug getting frustrated and punching the akuma in the face.  Just like how Chat definitely hadn’t been completely overwhelmed by coconuts.  More than once.

 _Sunscream,_ or whatever her real name was, looked completely shell-shocked as she focused on Ladybug.  “Paris is colder than I expected.”

“Then you should buy a coat.”

“Oh, yeah.”

Chat grinned in such a way that got Ladybug rolling her eyes.  “I happen to know of a great line of new winter coats that hit the shelves about a month ago.  Totally in fashion and Paris weather approved.”

The woman seemed more embarrassed than anything now.  Which was definitely preferable to being upset about what she might have done as an akuma.  She ducked her head slightly, cheeks pink.  “Thank you, but I think I should probably find one on my own.”

Chat shrugged, using the movement to also drape an arm around Ladybug’s shoulders.  “I can respect that.  Everyone has their own tastes.”

Ladybug knew he was attempting to distract her but wouldn’t let him get in the way of her duties as a superhero.  “Do you need any help getting home?  How are you feeling?”

“No, no!  I should be fine, thank you.  I, uh, kinda just feel like going home and taking a long nap right now, honestly.”

Chat leaned forward with a grin.  “Just in case you were wondering: Yes.  Cat naps _can_ fix everything.”

“Including bad breath?” Ladybug teased while pushing his face away.

He just smiled in response, making exaggerated breathing in her direction in response.  “Absolutely _everything.”_

The de-akumatized _Sunscream_ was looking nervous, eyes darting back and forth between the two as if she was embarrassed to be watching them.  Ladybug had never felt like the playful teasing between the two of them was anything to be ashamed of, but now she felt her cheeks light up a bit, knowing there was more to it now than there had been before.

“I’m, um, just going to go now,” the woman said before mechanically walking away.  She was headed away from the closest metro station, but she probably knew that.  Probably.  Maybe.

Ladybug might have called out to make sure the woman knew where she was going if Chat hadn’t been poking her cheek.  She turned a deadpan glare toward him.  He continued to poke her cheek with a pout on his own face.

“Is there something you need?”

“Why do you always make fun of my breath?”

A smile twitched on her lips.  “Because it bothers you.”

He frowned.  “I’m a horrible influence on you.”

“I wouldn’t _disagree.”_   She glanced around.  The Parisians that had fled the scene during the battle still hadn’t come back out of hiding quite yet, apparently not getting the memo that everything was safe.  Ladybug took her chance to lean forward and steal that kiss she’d been thinking about earlier.

When she pulled away, his eyes were glittering happily as a grin split his face.  She felt butterflies in her stomach, giddy just knowing that she could create that kind of expression on him.

He leaned his forehead against hers, keeping them close enough that she could hear the purr in his voice.  “You’re killing me here _Bugaboo.”_

She rolled her eyes, laughing softly against his lips.  “Oh come on, don’t get your _Whiskers_ in a twist.”

It sort of felt like a perfect moment.

And then it was ruined.

“ _I’m going to string you both alive and hand you to Hawkmoth myself so help me God.”_

The voice was so hostile that the heroes jumped away from each other, drawing their weapons and preparing to fight their second akuma for the day.  Only to stop as they realized it was only Alya.

Alya with a really, _really_ scary look on her face.

Chat was sputtering as he tried to connect the words with the face, but Ladybug gathered herself faster.  “Alya!  What are you doing here?  You weren’t getting too close to the akuma battle again, were you?”

The blogger’s eyes slid over to the heroine with the sort of mechanical purpose that dolls in horror movies had.  “Oh you know, just _sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong._ Nothing out of the ordinary.”

Chat and Ladybug exchanged worried glances, both having clearly heard the edge in their friend’s voice.

“You weren’t hurt or anything, were you?” Chat asked, hoping maybe they just hadn’t seen her during the battle and she was put out because she’d been chased around by a coconut.  He hoped that was it.  Please let that just be it.

“I wasn’t in any danger that my _two favorite superheroes in the whole world_ couldn’t handle.”  That grin was still there.  Darker and more menacing than any threats that Hawkmoth could ever send to the pair.  Hawkmoth had clearly not managed to wield Alya’s true power when she’d been akumatized or else they would have been entirely no match for the vengeful girl.

In any case, she was freaking the two of them out and with superhuman abilities at the tips of their fingers there was no way they weren’t just going to run from this situation.

“Okay, so…” Ladybug began, backing away casually.

“Yeah!” Chat agreed, hopping to her side to join in her escape.

“We’re just gonna go now.”

“Lots of patrolling to do.”

“Oh yeah, akumas never rest.”

“I don’t think Hawkmoth even sleeps!”

“It’s probably why he’s so angry all the time.”

“So, uh, see yah!”

“Yeah, we’ll catch you later!”

The two spun around, feeling an urgency to escape that was somewhat primal.

“ _Not so fast.”_

Both heroes stopped in their tracks.  Behind them they could feel waves of vehemence aimed at their backs.

“I’m _surprised_ you want to leave so _soon._ After all, you just _love_ to _chat and chat and chat_ at me when you’re _online._ ”  Alya settled a hand on either hero’s shoulders.  “Isn’t that right, _Bugaboo?  Mr. Whiskers?”_

The two spun around, apologies and excuses already fluttering from their lips and not a word of any of it making sense.

“It was Hawkmoth, I swear!  The akuma possessed my phone and I chased it into the Seine!”

“It was publicity!  And you said spandex is out of style!  I couldn’t stand for that!”

Alya let them rant for a bit, her anger only slightly quelled by seeing her favored heroes acting so flustered towards her.  She wasn’t quite as livid as she was probably coming across as.  The realization had shocked her more than anything.  But these two had been her bane for _months_ now and even if she did look up to and respect them she was definitely not just going to let them get away with everything that had happened.

So maybe she played things up a bit.  She thought she deserved it.  But maybe she should put an end to their frenzied pleas for mercy.

“I just really like your blog.  I wanted to be part of the magic you make!”

“Yeah, yeah!  Your beautiful fingers and the beautiful words that come from them.  I just can’t get enough.”

Or maybe she could wait a minute for them to keep complimenting her.

Eventually she took pity on them.  More because she had started to worry that she might not be the only fan out and about and while she was pleased with how things were proceeding she didn’t necessarily want the heroes to embarrass themselves in front of anyone else.

“I’m going to make you a deal.”

That shut them up fairly quickly.  Neither seemed eager to accept though, shooting glances at one another hoping for some kind of input.

“And it’s either accept my deal or I’ll write a very _long, scalding_ blog post about what kind of online exploits Ladybug and Chat Noir have been getting up to.  And while it’s not like the information will get all over Paris in a day, I think you know how many followers I have and I’m sure you don’t want them thinking that their heroes are two _dirty, stinking trolls_ online.  Think of the children!”

They still didn’t seem entirely convinced that one was better than the other, but gave hesitant nods of acquiescence to her plans.

Alya took a deep breath and crossed her arms.  “Okay, here’s the deal.  I’m glad my plan to get Bugaboo and Whiskers on a date seems to have worked almost too well.”

“That’s not really a—”

“And considering the internet hasn’t blown up since last week I’m guessing that you haven’t told anybody.  I want to be the reporter to make it known to the world that you two are an item.”

The heroes gave each other suffering looks, but neither were entirely upset about it.  They nodded.

Alya grinned.  “I want a full, private interview with you two about the whole thing.”

More nods.

“I also want five private interviews with _each_ of you that I can call on _whenever I want_ and where I get to ask any questions I want that don’t have to do with your identities.”

There were a couple grimaces but they agreed to this as well.

“I’m also allowed to be at any akuma battle area and you won’t try to make me leave.”

The nods did not come so easily this time.

“Alya, you don’t have super powers or a magic suit to protect you.  We have to be focusing on saving the akuma victims,” Ladybug explained with a certain amount of exasperation.

“I’m not asking you to _escort_ me to the akuma, I just mean that if you see me on the sidelines taking a video you won’t kick me out,” Alya said with a scowl.

Ladybug couldn’t completely back down from this one.  “Only if we deem that you’re in a safe location.”

“Fine.  Deal.”

The ladies shook on it, both of their grips tight.

Chat Noir shrugged uselessly.  “I don’t get a say in this?”

Ladybug rose an eyebrow at him.  “Do you have any complaints?”

“Many.”

Alya flipped her hair with a victorious grin.  “Tough luck.  Your first interview is tomorrow night, for both of you.  We’ll be talking about…this.”  She gave a gesture that sort of encompassed the both of them, causing the heroes to blush.  “But I’ll wait until my next post to actually put it up so you can have some time to get used to the idea that everyone knows what you’re about.  You’re going to have a lot of upset fans with this development you know.  So come up with something that sounds convincing for why this is suddenly a thing that doesn’t go back to my blog.”

“Yes ma’am,” both said quickly.

“Good.  I’ll be set up in the theatre we did the last interview, got it?  Nine PM on Thursday, _don’t_ be late.”

The three glanced about, noticing that civilians were starting to return to the area and were looking hesitant to approach the heroes and reporter.

Alya drew herself up, pulling out her phone to make it look like she’d been doing an interview.  “Looks like you two had better go.  Do _not_ make the mistake of letting another reporter notice your relationship before I have the chance to get my interview and write my post.”

Ladybug and Chat Noir agreed to be subtler while in public for a while and fled to the rooftops.  Alya was left behind with her phone and several sneaky pictures she had taken of the two of them kissing that would be a surprise for her post later.  She was already excited for the exclusive interview she would be getting in a couple days but in the meantime she would have to go home and come up with a few questions to ask.

The superheroes watched Alya trot back home, happy as a clam.

Chat gave Ladybug a sheepish grin.  “Whoops?”

She sighed.  “I never expected her to find out that Ladybug and Chat Noir are her trolls.”  She stepped away from the edge of the roof before someone could see her and started pacing.  “I mean, Nino noticed and for a minute I thought she had actually pieced everything all together and knew who we were!”

Chat shrugged.  “Welp, Nino and Alya are never allowed to talk to each other again.”

Ladybug raised an eyebrow at him.  “We’re basically her super slaves now.  Why do you think we can prevent her from doing anything she wants?”

“Well, Nino knows that Bugaboo is Marinette and Whiskers is Adrien.  Alya knows that Bugaboo is Ladybug and Whiskers is Chat Noir.  If they put this information together then there really is no stopping them.”

Ladybug groaned, pulling on her pigtails as she paced furiously around the rooftop.  Chat Noir watched her, kind of upset about the situation, but honestly more entertained by how adorable his girlfriend was when she was frustrated.  He kind of wanted to tease her but he’d had enough of girls being angry at him today.  Letting her blow off steam first seemed like a much safer idea for now.

He was trying to guess which would come first: Ladybug wearing a path down on the roof or her transformation timing out.  But it turned out neither happened when she stopped very suddenly with her back facing him.

Uh oh.

“What are you thinking?” he asked, tail whipping behind him with some mix of curiosity and fear.

“They’re not going to find out,” she said very confidently.

“I should probably mention that however much the ‘shipping your friends to Timbuctoo’ plan is funny it’s also sort of frowned upon.”

She turned back to him with a devious smirk.

“The same goes for murder.”

Ladybug rolled her eyes with a laugh.  “We’re not going to do anything to them.  Other than blow their minds.”

Chat Noir could sense trouble a mile away.  But when his Lady had a plan thought up then who was he to do anything but follow?

So he grinned.  “What exactly do you have in mind?”

 

->'v'<-

 

 _(Bugaboo121_ has opened up a PM to _MrWhiskers13)_

 _Bugaboo121_ _: Are you ready for this?_

 _MrWhiskers13_ _: born ready_

 _Bugaboo121_ _: Here we go_

 _(Bugaboo121_ has invited _StitchPrincess_ and _PastryPrince_ and _DJDudeBro4_ and _LadybugQueen_ to this conversation _)_

_StitchPrincess: What’s happening?_

_PastryPrince: I 2 am confused_

_LadybugQueen_ _: Sorry_ _StitchPrincess, PastryPrince, these two are just screwing around again_

 _LadybugQueen_ _: Which, by the way, I still don’t forgive you two_

 _MrWhiskers13_ _: we have a deal_

 _LadybugQueen_ _: In no part of that deal did I say that I will forgive you for your transactions_

 _Bugaboo121_ _: </3_

 _LadybugQueen_ _: I can’t get over the fact that you two are such dorks_

 _LadybugQueen_ _: I just can’t_

 _MrWhiskers13_ _: u better believe it_

 _Bugaboo121_ _: ^^3~*_

_StitchPrincess: C’mon Alya, they’re not really hurting anybody!_

_PastryPrince: nothing wrong w/ havin a bit of fun_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: thank u prince u rly understand me_

_PastryPrince: I got ur back best bro_

_DJDudeBro4: Dude_

_PastryPrince: 2nd best bro*_

_DJDudeBro4: Thats totally not wat I meant_

_LadybugQueen_ _: Since when have you known_ _MrWhiskers, Prince_ _?_

_PastryPrince: we had a hole battle against each other dont u remember_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: it was epic_

_PastryPrince: we rode horses_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: our ladies were knights_

 _Bugaboo121_ _: That was ages ago XP_

 _LadybugQueen_ _: I just didn’t realize that you two bonded over that_

 _LadybugQueen_ _: I don’t know if I approve_

_StitchPrincess: Actually I got to know Bugaboo121 pretty well around the same time!_

_Bugaboo121_ _: We’re practically like sisters now >:D_

_StitchPrincess: Like twins :O_

_Bugaboo121_ _: Almost like we’re the same person ;)_

_DJDudeBro4: You guys are goin to make me throw my phone out the window_

_DJDudeBro4: Do you really want that I dont think you do_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: o cmon DJ live a little_ _∑;)_

_DJDudeBro4: If you keep this up you may not b alive for much longer_

_Bugaboo121_ _: We’re already paying our dues!!!!!! ;_;_

 _MrWhiskers13_ _: dont evn worry bout it_ _∑;D_

_DJDudeBro4: wtf she knows_

_LadybugQueen_ _: What are you guys talking about_

 _Bugaboo121_ _: She knows something >o>_

 _MrWhiskers13_ _: and u no something_

_StitchPrincess: There’s a lot of knowing going on here_

_PastryPrince: I think they know different things_

_DJDudeBro4: Dont hurt yourself please_

_StitchPrincess: Speaking of knowing things………_

_LadybugQueen_ _: Stop buying into their games, Princess, I can’t lose you too_

_StitchPrincess: I need you all to know something_

_LadybugQueen_ _: All of us?_

_DJDudeBro4: Why am I scared_

_StitchPrincess: I need to admit my feelings now or else I don’t think I ever will.  Please I want everyone to take me seriously here_

_LadybugQueen_ _: OMG girlllllll!!!!_

_StitchPrincess: I’ve been in love for a while now but I’ve always been too shy to say anything.  You always make me laugh and I look forward to seeing you everyday even if you don’t know that I exist._

_DJDudeBro4: Is this really happening_

_StitchPrincess: So I’m just going to say it!!!!!!!!!!!!_

_StitchPrincess: MRWHISKERS I LOVE YOU PLEASE GO ON A DATE WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

_LadybugQueen_ _: WHAT_

_DJDudeBro4: Why are you doin this_

_StitchPrincess: I can’t help who I <3 DJ!!!!!!!  Please say yes _ _MrWhiskers!!!_ _!  I want to get to know you more!!!! <3 <3 <# <3_

 _LadybugQueen_ _: MARI WHAT THE HECK_

 _LadybugQueen_ _: YOU’RE TAKEN_

 _LadybugQueen_ _: WHISKERS IS TAKEN_

 _LadybugQueen_ _: WHO EVEN ARE YOU_

_StitchPrincess: I just thought it’s time to move on from my little crush and make some real moves -v-_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: Princess…_

_StitchPrincess: Yes my love????_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: Im sorry but I just cant accept ur <3_

 _LadybugQueen_ _: Thank God_

_StitchPrincess: But WHY!??!?!?!_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: its all do 2 the queens brilliance that I now am livin the dream I have always sought and am datin Bugaboo_

_DJDudeBro4: Wait youre dating_

_DJDudeBro4: I am so confused rite now_

_MrWhiskers13_ _: thats rite!  Bugaboo121 and I r in a beautiful lovin relationship all thanks 2_ _ladybugqueen_ _s intervention I have so much 2 thank her 4_

 _LadybugQueen_ _: I never expected you to be the voice of reason but I no less appreciate it.  Whiskers you are my official favorite_

 _MrWhiskers13_ _: my life is complete_

 _Bugaboo121_ _: Yeah, about that_

 _MrWhiskers13_ _: :? wat is it my sweet?_

 _Bugaboo121_ _: I’m breaking up with you_

 _LadybugQueen_ _: I’m sorry WHAT_

_DJDudeBro4: What is even going on_

_Bugaboo121_ _: Yeah, just, answering all those questions the other night, thinking about our relationship, it got me thinking_

 _Bugaboo121_ _: Thinking that this just isn’t a good fit_

 _MrWhiskers13_ _: but but I LOVE YOU_

 _Bugaboo121_ _: I think it’s the puns.  There’s just too many of them.  I can’t keep up.  Sorry ‘bout that!_

 _MrWhiskers13_ _: I thought u loved my puns!_

 _Bugaboo121_ _: You also thought that I love that stupid thing you do with your hair_

 _MrWhiskers13_ _: my hair is fantastic_

_StitchPrincess: It sure is_

_LadybugQueen_ _: What happened_

 _LadybugQueen_ _: Everything was perfect_

 _LadybugQueen_ _: What is my life_

 _Bugaboo121_ _: But StitchPrincess gave me a great idea just now_

 _Bugaboo121_ _: Hey_ _PastryPrince, wanna date?? ;;;;;;)_

_PastryPrince: heck yeah_

_LadybugQueen_ _: NO! OHMYGOD_

_PastryPrince: I mean who wouldnt want 2 date me?_

_PastryPrince: Im rich + gorgeous_

_DJDudeBro4: And so humble_

_PastryPrince: yes I do also like honey_

_DJDudeBro4: I hate you_

_LadybugQueen_ _: Join the club!_

 _LadybugQueen_ _:_ _StitchPrincess and PastryPrince were supposed to date and get married and have beautiful fashion children and I was going to be their awesome aunt that got to play with the cuties and leave the terrors for the parents_

_StitchPrincess: gee thanks_

_LadybugQueen_ _: Bugaboo121 and MrWhiskers13 were perfect together just yesterday!  They were adorable and perfect and I was going to have the most popular blog on the internet with my next post and now they’ve ruined it!_

__

_LadybugQueen_ _:  Why!  Why did ANY of this happen?!_

__

_MrWhiskers13_ _: o u no we just decided 2 b real w/ ourselves_

__

_Bugaboo121_ _: Really got to know ourselves ;)_

__

_MrWhiskers13_ _: stop wearin so many masks_

__

_Bugaboo121_ _: Figure out what suits us best XD_

__

_MrWhiskers13_ _: That was a good one!_

__

_Bugaboo121_ _: Thanks ;D_

__

_DJDudeBro4: What are you 2 even talking about_

__

_MrWhiskers13_ _: just that it would b_ super _of u 2 not_ bug _out when the_ cat’s _out of the bag_

__

_Bugaboo121_ _: Too much_

__

_MrWhiskers13_ _: u think?_

__

_Bugaboo121_ _: You’ve got a point though!!!_

__

_Bugaboo121_ _: It’d be better if you_

__

_StitchPrincess: try not to freak out_

__

_Bugaboo121_ _: and even better if_

__

_StitchPrincess: you don’t disown our friendship_

__

_DJDudeBro4: You guys are so mean_

__

_LadybugQueen_ _: I can’t believe it_

__

_DJDudeBro4: You broke her_

__

_MrWhiskers13_ _: ud better_

__

_PastryPrince: believe it_

__

_Bugaboo121_ _: Don’t steal my bit!!!_

__

_MrWhiskers13_ _: it was good!_

__

_LadybugQueen_ _: There’s no way_

__

_LadybugQueen_ _: There’s NO WAY you two are Ladybug and Chat Noir_

__

_DJDudeBro4: What no its just Marinette and Adrien_

__

_DJDudeBro4: Theyve been trolling you for ages now_

__

_LadybugQueen_ _: Boi do not get me started_

__

_LadybugQueen_ _: These two PAINS IN MY EVERYTHING are LADYBUG AND CHAT NOIR_

__

_LadybugQueen_ _: HOLY SHIT_

__

_DJDudeBro4: Alya geez calm down_

__

_DJDudeBro4: Bugaboo121 is just Marinette and MrWhiskers13 is Adrien_

____

_LadybugQueen_ _: Bugaboo121 is LADYBUG and MrWhiskers13 is CHAT NOIR_

_____ _

_DJDudeBro4: wtf why would you think that_

_____ _

_LadybugQueen_ _: I CONFIRMED IT WITH MY OWN EYES_

_____ _

_DJDudeBro4: So have I with Marinette and Adrien_

_____ _

_LadybugQueen_ _: EXACTLY_

_____ _

_DJDudeBro4: ohmygod_

_____ _

_LadybugQueen_ _: Wait a second_

_____ _

_LadybugQueen_ _: HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN WHO THEY WERE!?!?!?!?_

_____ _

_MrWhiskers13_ _: ni-knows_

_____ _

_LadybugQueen_ _: I SWEAR TO GOD WHISKERS_

_____ _

_LadybugQueen_ _: CHAT_

_____ _

_LadybugQueen_ _: ADRIEN_

_____ _

_LadybugQueen_ _: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH_

_____ _

_Bugaboo121_ _: We definitely broke her this time XXDDDDDD_

_____ _

_DJDudeBro4: How_

_____ _

_DJDudeBro4: You two are awful at keeping secrets_

_____ _

_MrWhiskers13_ _: wat r u talkin about?  Were_ super _at keepin secrets ;)_

_____ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! It's over! I've finally completed this fic after so long! Congratulations if you made it to the end!
> 
> I just want to say to everybody who has read this: Thank you all so much.
> 
> Reading your comments always brings such a huge smile onto my face and really makes me feel so happy. Which was the entire point of writing this in the first place. I had so much fun writing every single chapter and often found myself laughing out loud at how ridiculous the story was and it just makes me so happy to know that you all get the same enjoyment out of reading it.
> 
> I hope this silly story made you smile and that you will continue to find things to make you smile.
> 
> Thanks to you all!!!


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